Step two: Adjust your conversation style based on who you are talking to. It would be rude to stop your next door neighbor you barely know and tell them all of your fears, hopes, and dreams for life. However, withholding those things from a spouse would be just as rude, especially since sharing those things are going to help you bond and are going to improve your relationship. So, you have to realize that what works with one person is not going to work with another. Also, timing is important. It is a great idea to talk to your spouse about your gruesome medical history, but not while they are trying to eat their lunch. It is smart to converse with your spouse about a problem you have with them, but not in front of others. So, adjust your conversations to fit the person, place, and tone.

Step three: Be honest. Conversations are one of the best ways to get to know people, and that is not going to happen if you cannot be completely honest with the person you are conversing with. For example, there are little things that require honesty, and there are big things. If you are having a conversation about politics, and you totally disagree with what they are saying, it is best to be honest about it, but also respectful of their opinion. To some a political difference is a minor thing, and to others it is huge, so honesty is important. However, there are times where omission is best. For example, if your new wife spends her day making you dinner, and it tastes like something scraped off the street, there is an honest way to tell her this, but a more honest conversation would be about how grateful you are to her that she cares enough to make you dinner. Omitting that the dinner sucked spares feelings. So, in conversations, be honest, but also sensitive to those you are conversing with.

Step four: Ask questions. One of the best things you can do for a conversation to help it improve your relationship is to keep it going, and in a positive direction. So take the initiative to keep it going, and to redirect it if it needs that. Also, there are some important questions to ask yourself, and the person you are talking to, especially if you are about to have a difficult conversation. For example, you can say, "Even though what I'm about to say might be hard for you to hear, are you willing to hear it anyway?" If they respond yes, then you can proceed with caution, remembering the above steps to relationship improving conversations. If the conversation starts to get off track, you can then ask the following question: "Could I interrupt you and have you just listen for a while?" or maybe say, "How about if we take turns talking and listening for a while?" This shows the person that the conversation has a purpose, and that you are on equal footing, and that what they say is important to you, but that what you say is important as well.

Start using these questions more often. Try them and see what happens, if you can do it with the right attitude, and with the combination of the above steps, you will see a marked improvement in your relationship just by improving your conversations.