Hard to be a Dad
Is it hard to be a dad? It can be if you allow it to be. How do you respond when stuff gets hard or you are overwhelmed? Do you withdraw? Your wife is not a single parent, so you shouldn't be removing yourself mentally, emotionally, or physically from your children. Do you get angry? A volatile temper never got anyone anywhere. Kids can be a lot of work, but guess what? It doesn't have to be hard. The key to being a quality father (and quality mother) is to share the load. A burden carried together is much lighter. Here are some tips to share the load and make being a quality father easier so you don't get overwhelmed or angry.
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Tip #1: Be present.
The biggest thing a dad needs to learn is to be home when they are home. Being 100% present keeps the anger bug at bay. If you are actually listening and responding to your wife and kids when you are home, they won't be in your face or on your nerves nearly as much as when you come home distracted by a problem at work, if you are on the phone constantly (talking or texting), or tuning them out cause the ball-game is on. When you are home, be home, be with them and give them the attention that all people seek for from those they love. If you can be present, being a quality father gets much easier.
Tip #2: One-on-one time.
Like we talked about it tip #1, your wife and kids have a real need for attention. One way to satisfy that need is through one-on-one time. You will be a good dad if you follow just this one piece of advice. Take your kids on daddy-daughter (or father-son) dates once a month and take your wife out once a week. This is time you spend bonding as a father with your kids and as a husband with your wife. It is important! Take the time to have one-on-one time, and like we talked about above, be 100% in the moment with them when you are alone with them. You will have better relationships with all of the family and you'll hear them praise you, which gives you the extra push to be a better dad that you need.
Tip #3: Kid time.
Dad's who don't spend time with kids without mom around are missing out. If you have more than one child (or if you have just one) you should be spending time with all of them together without mom around every week. If you really want to have a sense of ownership over being a parent, take time with just your kids without the maternal influence around. Kids will act different when mom's eyes aren't on them and you want to be apart of that. Give them the opportunity.
Tip #4: Kiss the cook.
Just because you are a man doesn't mean you don't cook. Men have to survive on something too. Your wife will thank you if you take some of the meal preparation out of her hands and your kids will thank you if mom is less grouchy because she doesn't have to cook tonight. If you can learn to cook just a handful of dishes, you'll be teaching your kids that you love your spouse and that domesticity isn't just for the ladies. This goes for other household chores as well. Be apart of the team by helping your wife with laundry, dishes, taking out the trash, changing diapers, and other household duties. You are a team, so act like it.
