Having a girls night or boys night after marriage
Marriage is wonderful, and in marital bliss there is a common misconception that you should spend every moment together, and always want to be with each other, and have no desire to spend time with other people. This is simply not the case. The following is a look at why it is a good idea to have a regular girls night or boys night even after you are married.
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- Helps you each keep your separate identities. Too many divorced couples complain that when they got married they gave up who they were to make their marriage work, and later resented their spouse for that sacrifice. Giving up your personal identities to make a marriage work is simply counter productive. It is your differences that make you compliment one another so much. If you want to make your marriage better, cultivating your separate interests, friendships, etc. is important, and will serve you well, as long as you also cultivate the things you have in common.
- Keep friendships alive. If after you get married, you spend all of your time exclusively with your spouse, what happens to all of the relationships and friendships you have cultivated over the years? They fade out. If you have a regular night out with friends, you get to keep your friends. This will help your marriage because when someone starts to feel friendless, their self-confidence drops, and their mood drops with it, and it is easier to nit-pick your spouse or feel sorry for yourself and resentful.
- Gives you a break from one another. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Having some time away from each other can make the little frustrations seem inconsequential. When you spend all of your time with someone, little things that may have been somewhat endearing before can start to grate on your nerves. So, give yourself some time apart on occasion to refresh and be excited when you are together again.
- Allows variety in your life, less likely to get in a rut. Sometimes in marriage you get in a bit of a rut. You run out of things to talk about, or talk about the same things over and over. You run out of activities you find enjoyable, and do the same things over and over. You get into habits where, while you are close and in love, make you rather boring. So, by giving yourselves a chance to live outside your marriage a little too, you come back to your marriage as yourselves, as individuals, and you add spark to your marriage by being able to discuss new opinions, new topics, and by having refreshed perspectives.
- Lastly, it is fun. As much fun as your spouse is, girls sometimes just need girl time to talk about clothes, to shop, to gossip, complain, dish on sex, birth control, etc. Boys sometimes need boys time to talk sports, to drink beers, to belch, fart, be crude, lewd, or to just enjoy the company of other men. It does not matter if you do the same things you would do together, it can be great to just get some girl time or guy time in.
