None of this is true. Your husband's pornography addiction ultimately has nothing to do with you. His pornography addiction is something that only he can fix, only he can decide to change, and that only he can do something about. You can and should encourage him to get help with his pornography addiction, talk to him about how you feel about it, and decide to what extent you should support him and stay with him to the extent that is healthy for you and for your children, if you have any. But ultimately, the responsibility for your husband's pornography addiction, or anyone's pornography addiction, rests on the individual.

So what can you do, as the wife? One of the worst lies about any addiction at all is that it only affects the person involved in the behavior, whether it's alcohol, drugs, pornography, whatever. That's not true, as you already know. Your husband's pornography addiction has a serious effect on your sex life, on your general relationship, on your happiness, on your self esteem. If you feel like your husband's pornography addiction is hurting you and your family, and hurting your relationship, then you need to talk to him about it. Tell him lovingly but firmly what exactly it is doing to you. Is it pulling you apart? Is it leading to abusive behaviors? Is it making you feel either neglected or objectified in your relationship? Think about all of the effects that it is having and what it is doing to to you. Think about changes that you have noticed in your husband. Come to your husband with all of these things, and talk to him about them. This should not be a mean-spirited confrontation. Rather, you should talk to your husband about why he is involved in pornography, and talk to him about all of the negative effects that his addiction is having on himself and those around him, whom he loves. You also should consider speaking to a religious leader, if you have one, and asking his or her advice on the matter. Talk to a counselor.

The next thing that you can do to help your husband with his pornography addiction is to encourage him to talk to somebody about it. Encourage him to to go see a counselor, and discuss the issue. Encourage him to talk to your religious leader for support and guidance. Remember that if your husband decides to try to kick his pornography habit, he is going to need as much help and support as he can get. Encourage him to build up a support network of people who are willing to guide him, direct him, and help him battle his addiction. Pornography is one of the most addictive things that he can get involved in, especially since the images will always stay in his mind. You can help by being understanding, but at the same time do not let yourself be sucked into an abusive situation.

While you want to help your husband work through his pornography addiction, you also need to look out for yourself. How long you will stay with him, if you will work with him through the entire thing, or if things get so bad that you need to get out is up to you. However, be careful not to let yourself be sucked into an abusive situation. Put down boundaries, and stick to them. Don't blame yourself for the situation, and don't let your husband blame you. And if your husband shows no desire to get rid of his pornography situation, but it's making your life a nightmare, then you should seriously consider what step to take. Pornography does not have to destroy your marriage, but at the same time you should think carefully about the sacrifices that you are prepared to make and what sacrifices would be best and what would be bad for your sake and for the sake of your children.