How contempt ruins relationships
Contempt in a relationship is something that will ruin it quickly, and often permanently. This is something that should be taken seriously in every kind of relationship, from friendship to marriage. So, what is contempt exactly? By definition, contempt is a lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike. While this does not appear to go along with the definition of relationships, it is often how we respond to our partners and friends when we are upset.
When someone acts with contempt in a relationship, they go against the very make up of love, which is a critical part of successful relationships. When you show contempt or act contemptuously, you are basically shouting to the other person in the relationship that you do not respect them. Respect is a key component of all healthy relationships. So, right there you have two serious strikes against healthy relationships.
Contempt in a relationship makes the person feel worthless. If someone speaks down to you, and makes you feel like they genuinely dislike you, and do not respect your opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc. how do you think you would feel? Do you think this is going to be healthy for a relationship? Obviously it is not.
Contempt in a relationship makes the person feel furious. If you speak with contempt to someone you have a relationship with, friend or otherwise, you are going to leave them very angry. No one wants to be talked down to. No one wants to be told in not so many words that they are worthless, or that they are not valued. Who wants to waste their time in a relationship where the other person dislikes them, and does not respect them. The anger and frustration will poison the relationship, and make it much harder to overcome other obstacles that are common in relationships.
Contempt in a relationship poisons it with negativity, and leaves little room for the partners of that relationship to express validation and admiration. No one wants to be in a relationship where they do not feel valued, or where they are looked at as an inferior person. So, do not allow contempt into your relationships if you want them to be successful, and if you want to have a partnership that is not only happy, but genuinely great to have.
If you ever feel that you are allowing contempt to ruin your relationship, quickly begin to focus on adding positivity to the relationship. Focus on expressing how much you admire the person, and give concrete reasons for your admiration. In addition, validate them daily, so that they know, and feel with genuine surety that you love and respect them as a person, and as a partner in the relationship. If you can keep contempt out of your relationship, you are well on your way to a healthy, and long lasting relationship, whether it is a friendship or marriage it makes no difference, contempt can poison any kind.