How Poor Health Can Affect Relationships
There are a few things that can easily disrupt a loving relationship, although few people think that poor health will do so. Money, differences in family and personality, as well as changes in environment can have a huge impact on relationships. You might expect these sorts of things to either plague or annoy a couple, but few of us think about how an illness or accident might destroy your frienship. You never know when one of you might come down with a terrible disease or even just a minor condition that nevertheless affects you. Illnesses create a great deal of stress and strain, but they also cost a great deal to treat. Problems with illnesses can lead to money problems literally over night. When people feel ill they naturally are not in a good mood; many couples suffering from a health problem tend to fight and argue with each other. Because one partner doesn't feel well it is more difficult to get out and do fun things or to go out on dates. The ill partner might simply want to go to bed or rest most of the time, thereby putting much of the responsibility for running a household on the shoulders of another person.
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Part of the difficulty with this situation is that no one is really to blame. When one partner makes a mistake or is selfish the other partner has a reason to complain. However, when the problem is do to a serious illness no fingers can be pointed. Although this could be seen as a good thing in some ways, it can be difficult for the healthy partner to stay free from frustration and anger. They may start to blame the other partner, even though it is extremely illogical for them to do so. This kind of resentment, even if kept fairly silent, can be a source of terrible friction in the relationship.
A similar problem can arise when the ill member of the relationship starts to feel guilty about their illness and the impact it has on their lover or friend. They might apologize frequently for the way the illness affects their behavior. In time they might even regret their decision to get into the relationship because they think they are destroying it.
In either of these cases the emotional response is understandable but also highly destructive. Resentment grows slowly but steadily over time and eventually poisons the relationship. Guilt can similarly create distance between people in a relationship. Indeed, even though the problem created by the illness might not result in terrible outbursts or divorce, it can slowly create a terrible distance. Where there was once a loving and lively relationship a cold silence now prevails.
There are various ways to overcome these issues, although the process is very difficult and depends a great deal on the illness. Sometimes an illness changes suddenly and unexpectedly and thereby alters the nature of the relationship dramatically. However, if this does not happen it is important to get excellent medical care and to continue to pursue new treatment options. Problems become worse when the siuation starts to stagnate and both partners loose hope. Another very important part of dealing with the issues is seeing an outside counselor or relationship psychologist. With the stresses and strains of this unusual situation you need to have a place to vent and work through problems. Also, it is very important that you still find ways to pursue your relationship. These might be simpler than they used to be, but without some fun a relationship will struggle and die.
