How to apologize to a not so close friend
It's always hard to apologize to people, whether they are close friends, family members, or not so close friends. Sometimes it's harder to apologize to not so close friends, because you don't feel the same connection to them and it's not as important to you to keep their friendship. However, there are a number of ways that you can get along with people who are not close friends, and ways that you can apologize to them, even if you are justified and don't particularly get along with them.
1. Do not expect the other person to change
Probably the biggest mistake that people make in relationships, whether they are in a relationship with somebody they like or somebody they don't like, is that they expect the other person to change how they act, what they like, what they don't like-basically, who the other person is. But, to be honest, you aren't going to get people to change. And you shouldn't want to completely change who another person is. Also, if you don't get along with somebody, such as one of your co-workers, it is important to realize that that person most likely sees you as the problem, instead of himself or herself. The only person you can make demands of, and the only behavior that you can change and control, is your own behavior. So apologize to the not so close friend, but realize that they're probably not that close to you because your personalities don't mesh. Don't expect them to change their personality.
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So how can you change your own behavior? This doesn't mean that you need to become exactly like the other person. Instead, you need to approach the other person differently. Be willing to cooperate. Speak kindly to the other person, even though you may be seething inside. Chances are, that if you respect the other person and treat them the way that you would like to be treated, that person will also change in a way that is beneficial to you. However, if the other person does not change-you still need to treat them well.
2. Learn how to pick your battles
There are some things that are worth fighting over-and there are even more things that are not worth fighting over. It is easy to get really frustrated and angry by small things, such as the way that your mother-in-law comments on your cooking, or the way that your co-worker likes to handle details and control them. But it's really not worth spending the energy that it takes to fight over these things. On the other hand, there are things that you should fight about. If your mother-in-law is constantly bad-mouthing you, trying to undermine your parenting, and treating you badly overall, then you should speak up about it. Similarly, if a coworker is stealing your ideas, then you should say something. But save your energy for the major things, and don't exhaust yourself by fretting over the small and ultimately insignificant details.
3. Agree to disagree
And then simply leave it at that.
4. Be more self-aware
This step goes with the first one. Realize that while you might find a particular person absolutely off their rocker and unbelievably obnoxious or uncouth, you are not perfect and you are not a saint. There are particular issues and situations where you are the annoying person. The other person sees you as the one who has the problem. Be aware of areas where you can improve, and then be respectful of the other individual and their own way of doing things. Respect is the best way to get along with somebody with whom you do not exactly click; it might not result in friendship, but at least you can be friendly to each other.
