How to argue the right way, so you can get past it


Fighting is a part of real life, but there is a right and a wrong way to fight. Arguing is going to happen due to the simple fact that not everyone agrees all of the time, but you can argue in a constructive manner, or in a way that is going to create problems for you. Let's take a look at how to argue the right way so you can get past it:

Step one: know your argument. If you want to have an argument, or if you are going to have an argument, you have to know what you are arguing. Arguing a point you do not feel strongly about, or arguing something without knowing the whole story behind is useless. So take a few minutes to put together the main points of your argument, and to determine what your reason for arguing is. If it is not a vali


Step two: Decide what things you will compromise on, and what you will not. For example, if you are arguing with your spouse about the fact that they do not help you out enough, you may be willing to concede that they work hard, and should do less than you, but you may be unwilling to give in on the fact that they need to take on some responsibility around the house. If you go into an argument without knowing the things you won't compromise on, you will be fighting a lot longer than needed, and expending a lot more energy than you need to. So, know your limits.

Step three: Do not beat around the bush or get off subject. If you want to address the fact that you paid for a service you are not receiving, do not go into details about your bill, or talk about how much you hate their customer service. Instead, get to the point, and just say, "I am paying for a service I am not receiving and this is unacceptable to me." If it is a personal argument, do not bring up other issues until the first is resolved. For example, if you feel underappreciated because you always make dinner and they never say thank you, talk about being underappreciated. Once the issue is resolved you can talk about how you always make dinner, and they never help. If it is a separate issue, be sure to talk about it at a separate time. Arguing done right requires that you stick to the topic at hand. If you let it expand, there may be no end, and thus the argument will never be solved.

Step four: Learn to listen. If you want to argue right, you have to do it like a debate. You present your point, and give your opponent a chance to respond. Let them bring up their point, listen to what they say, then respond to it. If you do all the talking, or if you do not hear what they say, you might as well be venting to the wall, or giving a speech. It is not an argument if both sides are not presented, and given their appropriate attention. You have to hear their point and refute it or discuss why they are wrong, or where you agree.

With these four steps you will be able to successfully have an argument. If you take away any of these steps, your argument becomes a lose lose situation where everyone gets mad, and nothing gets resolved.

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