How to be a good friend
Human beings are social creatures; we want to build relationships with others. As young children, even as infants, we crave the attention of others. We want to build friendships with people because it makes us happy. It gives us a sense of purpose and it rejuvenates us. A good friend isn't easy to come by; making new friendships is difficult at best. Our daily lives interfere with the time needed to cultivate the trust and values of a strong personal connection to someone we don't live with. Because of this, many of us leave relationships at the "acquaintance" status and lose out on what could be a wealth of love and commitment in a friendship.
Friends make life fun and interesting and by some studies can even add years to your life because friendships increase your ability to cope with stress, boost your immune system and provide a support system for you when problems arise.
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There really are no guidelines for what makes a good friend. Everything is based upon the needs of the two individuals in the relationship and their changing lives. If you want to define how to be a good friend, here are some easy tips:
- Don't compete with your friends. Sure, healthy competition on the tennis court is great, but at the end of the day you need to be glad you are both healthy and able to play together. It doesn't matter who makes more money, whose children get better grades or who bought lunch last, close friends learn to see past the material things in life and just enjoy being together.
- Don't be selfish . If you only care about your own needs and desires, people will not want to be your friend. Learn how to listen to your friends and ask them about what is new with their life. When you show genuine interest in someone, they are likely to return the favor and this will build a strong connection between the two of you.
- Be yourself . No one wants to be around a "shape shifter". This is the friend that tries so hard to fit in that they have lost their whole identity. When it comes to friendships, be true to yourself. Don't compromise your standards and values for your friends. Anyone that asks you to do is not a good friend and you should get away from them.
- Establish trust with your friends . You can do this by being honest with your friends. Don't stab them in the back or give them a reason to question your trust. You need to let them know they can come to you with problems and that you will listen to them and try to help them solve these problems.
- Stay in contact with your friends. Don't leave it up to your friends to pick up the phone or send an email. You need to call them and catch-up if you want to keep them in your life. A good friend shows up to events that your friends plan or let them know if you will be unable to attend them. Make sure you are there when your friend need you the most which is normally for funerals, weddings, surgeries and celebrations.
- Don't point out your friend's faults . This starts back in elementary school and Jr. High School. You don't need to tell your friend they have a big zit on their nose, they know its there and they are hoping you will overlook it. Friends are there to accept one another despite your faults and your differences.
Following the above tips will help you learn how to be a better friend and build stronger relationships with everyone.
