Step one: bite your tongue.
It is easy to say things when you are emotional, and angry. So, learn to bite your tongue and wait for the heat of the moment to pass. You will get two benefits by doing this, one you have nothing regret later; two, you save yourself the apology. When you bite your tongue you preserve the important relationship of marriage.

Step two: think long term.
Often times you are mad, and saying or doing something hurtful is easy. You may think that right now it is worth it to get your point across, or make your spouse see how upset you are. However, ask yourself if it is going to be worth it in the long run? Is it worth being hurtful to someone you are going to live with, and be with forever? Right now it might be satisfying to say something, but in the long run it is not going to be something you are happy about.

Step three: forgive and forget.
When crap happens it is easy to hold on to your upset feelings and let them fester and grow into bigger problems. If you want to make your marriage better, you will learn how to forgive and forget so that you can build on your relationship and be a better person.

Step four: think of you, not them.
When you are unkind, it will hurt someone else, but it also hurts you. Do you want to be the kind of person who is spiteful or mean? Whether your spouse deserves it or not, you do not deserve to hurt yourself by becoming a lesser person than you are. Be the kind of person that is always kind. Be a better person by not doing something just because you can, or because it is justified.

Step five: enjoy the results.
When you are kind to your spouse you get kindness in return. If you serve your spouse, they will serve you. When you are thoughtful, it inspires thoughtfulness in return. So, one of the best things you can do for your relationship is act the way you want your relationship to be. If you want it to be happy, then be happy with your spouse. If you want to get along with your spouse, then do not be unkind. You will reap the reward of being kind when you could be mean.

When you have an opportunity to be unkind, take the high road and be kind instead. Your relationship will benefit and so will your soul.