Rule # 1 - Don't be selfish. Put the needs of your spouse and your marriage before your own. It is always better to give than to receive. Think about things you can do to make your spouse's life easier. Treat your spouse how you want to be treated and you will see a change in your spouse, and they will return the favor.

Rule # 2 - Do things without being asked. Nagging is a terrible weapon used by many people in marriages. It can cause anger and contention in a marriage. People feel like they are being treated like a child when their spouse nags them. A good spouse will recognize the things that need to be done and do them without being asked. It can be simple things like washing the dishes when the sink is full or taking out the garbage. Doing small things for your spouse will increase the gratitude your spouse has for you.

Rule # 3 - Be intimate with your spouse. Every marriage will have its ups and downs, but it is important to remember that they honeymoon phase will not last forever. The feeling you had on your wedding day normally starts to fade after 6 months of marriage and it is up to the couple to keep the romance alive in their marriage. Stress and work can cause several people to avoid becoming intimate with their spouse. With all the things that are neglected, intimacy is one part of marriage that needs to remain part of the marriage. Do some small things like romantic dinners, weekend getaways, and physical attention. Being intimate with your spouse does not always mean you have to have sex, simply touching them can re-assure your physical attraction to them and to yourself. Think about the needs of your spouse and make time to be intimate with them.

Rule # 4 - Keep the bedroom doors shut. What goes on in your marriage is between you and your spouse. You should never air your dirty laundry to other people. If you are having problems, seek the advice of a professional marriage counselor. They are trained to help people work through problems. If you and your spouse are fighting, remember to remain calm and discuss matters behind closed doors in your own home. You should never argue in front of your friends and family members. If you have children, wait until they go to bed and go into a private room to have a conversation. Never shout at your spouse, this only makes matters worse. A husband and a wife share a sacred bond and what goes on in their marriage is between them. Do not break your spouses trust by sharing private details about your marriage with other people.

Rule # 5 - Be grateful. Think about your life before you met your spouse. Make a list of all the wonderful qualities your spouse has and the different ways they have blessed your life. Tell your spouse often how grateful you are for them and their influence in your life. Let them know that you appreciate the work that they do for you and your family. Saying thank you can go a long way and it tells your spouse that you appreciate them and you recognize the things that they do for you. Don't forget to thank them for the little things they do like mowing the lawn, vacuuming, or packing your lunch. No good deed should go unnoticed in a marriage.

Rule # 6 - Communicate with your spouse. Communication means more than just talking to your spouse, but it means listening to them. When your spouse is talking, truly make time to listen to what they are saying. Show your spouse you are listening by rephrasing some of the things they are saying. If they want your advice, give it to them. Don't offer it unless they ask you for it though. Another way to show your spouse you are listening is to give them non-verbal cues like eye contact, nodding, and smiling. When you talk to your spouse, clearly explain what you are saying. Do not assume that your spouse understands what you are saying if you are not revealing everything. Be open and honest with your spouse and let them know what you are feeling. You can be tactful when you are being honest so you do not hurt your spouse's feelings.

Rule # 7 - Make time to relax. Trying to be the perfect spouse can be frustrating for anyone. If you are giving too much of yourself emotionally to your job, church, children, and spouse, you need to take some time for yourself. Go get a massage or spend time reading a book. If you try to do too much, it will put too much stress on your marriage. If you are giving too much of yourself to your job, you need to cut back and focus more on your marriage. Your marriage should be your number one priority and it comes before your job.

Rule # 8 - Treat your spouse as your equal. A marriage is a partnership, not a power struggle. Together, you and your spouse are working to create a happy life for each other. You should depend upon your spouse for their love and support. They in turn will depend upon you as well. A marriage only includes you and your spouse. If you find yourself depending upon someone else for emotional support in your marriage, you need to seek the advice of a marriage counselor immediately. Including another person in your marriage will damage your marriage and can quickly cause miss-trust.

Rule # 9 - Choose your battles. Look at the things that are bothering you and ask yourself if this is something worth fighting over. Do you really think you need to tell your spouse you don't like their cooking? Do you really need to cut down your spouse for losing their job? Marriage is about compromise and sacrifice. You are the person your spouse turns to for support and advice. You are their rock. Do not cut them down. If you are having an argument, hold your tongue. Give your spouse time to say what they need to before you respond. Don't talk over them and do not cut them off. Arguments are not one-sided. Both spouses should have the chance to express what they need to and then move forward with their spouse in order to fix the problems.

Rule # 10 - Set a budget. Money is often one of the biggest battles in a marriage. It is common for one spouse to be the spender and the other spouse to be the saver. Finances can create a lot of problems in a marriage and it is the root of most arguments. A simple way to work on your finances is to create a budget together. Together you can determine how much money you have left after all your expenses and other obligations. Once you have a figure set, discuss how much money is available for play money and how much money needs to be set aside for vacations, cars, and other things. Spending too much money can land a couple in debt and it can take years to climb out of the debt hole.

Rule # 11 - Respect your in-laws. Another common problem in marriage is the inability for a spouse to get along with their in-laws. No matter what you may think of your in-laws, you must remember that this is your spouse's family and despite all their differences they will always love them. You will need to spend time with them and you must make the effort to get to know them. Treat them with respect. Let them know that you appreciate their son or daughter that you married. Thank-them for raising them to be the person they are. Do not nag your spouse about leaving as soon as possible and never, ever fight with your in-laws. Family members are naturally defensive for one another and your spouse will be stuck between a rock and a hard place if you are forcing them to pick sides. If you do not like your in-laws, take a book with you. Spend a few minutes with them and then go off into a quiet room and read. Allow your spouse to spend time with their family without worrying about you.

A good spouse will encourage their spouse to be a better person. They will recognize all the positive qualities their spouse has and they will thank them for those qualities. Each day, wake up and spend some time with your spouse before work and all the other activities. Let your spouse know that you love them and appreciate them.