How to choose a person to grow old with
Whether you feel immense love for your partner right now or not, in today's age for a couple to think of growing old together seems like a joke. The rate at which divorces are taking place and couples separate, makes it a difficult task to find someone to grow old with. The following are some ways to choose a person to grow old with. A person you feel you can be with every day for the rest of your life. The person you are not going to get sick of a few years down the road:
The first step in choosing a person to grow old with is determining for yourself that the person you choose, no matter what happens, will be someone from whom you will not separate or divorce. Often times commitment to yourself, and to a goal of staying together makes the biggest difference in whether or not the person you choose will be someone you will grow old with.
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Why?
Because, once you have decided the goal - no separating, you will act towards achieving that goal.
The second step is to recognize that cracks happen. Your relationship could be as solid as a rock, but with time, pressure, and heat, even rocks crack. So, choose someone who will seek with you to figure out what the cause of the crack is, and someone determined to stick to the goal set and repair the cracks.
Why do the cracks appear? The reasons are many, miscommunication, discords, different views on very important matters, career problems, health problems, third person entering the relationship, and many other factors. So, be prepared to make these things cause you to be closer, not further apart.
Third, choose someone you want to grow old together with. This does not mean someone you are initially physically attracted to. It should be someone with which you have considered every factor, and they have done the same. Look at your similarities, your differences, your attractions, changes that might occur in your life, etc. then determine if even with all this (for better and FOR WORSE) that this is someone you could not just see yourself growing old with, but want to grow old with.
The how to is simple, it is the follow through that is hard:
1. Be determined that whomever you choose you will grow old with. Make it a goal.
2. Make sure they have the same determination.
3. Know that things will not be perfect.
4. Find someone that even when things suck, you will want to be with them.
5. Look for common interests.
6. Look at beliefs and basic motivations.
7. Look at how you feel about yourself when you are around the person.
8. Look at how you make them feel about themselves.
9. Decide how important their feelings are for you.
If you do these things you will find that you have someone who has enough similarities to you to keep things in accord, and enough differences to keep things interesting. You will find you are both committed to making things work, which is half the battle, and that because of your common motivators and interests that even crappy times that cause fissures in the relationship will not ruin a good thing. You have to choose someone for whom you would sacrifice your pride to stay with. This will mean you will grow old together. Why? Because you will not let pride get in the way of an apology, an expression of love, or a rebuke for misbehavior. You will not let pride keep you from changing your ill ways. You will however, love until the end.
