Blended families include more complexities and backgrounds. There are unique stresses to deal with, in forming a good working blended family.

Not so much as the differences of individuals matter; but the outcome is a family unit successfully functioning so that each member's needs are met and successful lifestyle is achieved. Family members make emotional, financial, moral claims on one another, no matter what all the backgrounds are.

An acceptable definition of family is one child and one adult whose moral and emotional claim on one another creates a tapestry that each member can acknowledge as- my family.

This quote comes from Letty Pogrebin, in her book Growing Up Free.

In some countries there may be pretty solid guidelines as to what a family consists of. In America, the statistics report:

18.5% of today's' households include 2 working parents plus their children.
16.5% of American households are those where the father provides all the financial support.
6.25% are single mother families.
.6% is the single father family.

There are so many divorces plus remarriages, that we have 25 million stepparents in America. 1 child in 8 is a stepchild. Out of 100 children, only 67 live with both biological parents. The other 33 are in single parent homes, or stepparents or foster parents.

So it is important that attention be focused on redefining the family as an important unit, which will nurture healthy children no matter what style of family they are living in. The overall family life will contribute to the important influences on the life of the child.

It is more important for a child to realize that there is enough love for each child, rather than to worry if someone is a foster child or a stepchild.

In the event of divorce, a child should still needs to be supported in loving both biological parents as well as a newcomer stepparent. It is very harmful to a child if they are forced to choose one parent or the other one. Meaning a biological parent vs. a new stepparent. We need to realize a blended family is indeed a chance to develop tolerance for others. Extended family also needs to be added to that list.

Also children need to be taught that the happiness of the blended family is primary, and that caring for all members helps produce successful family life.

Stepchildren often feel left out of decision-making. The children feel as much uncertainty in remarriage of their parent as they felt in the divorce that preceded the breaking up of biological family units. Children need healing time also. Therefore it is important when ever the new joining of a family occurs to include all of the children in the overall decision-making and care giving.

Nature abhors a vacuum, and loosing a parent in death is one thing. A new mom or dad, coming into a child's life, can be very confusing or hatred formed for the replacement of the natural parent. Time is needed to heal that loss. Remarriage should be later, and courtship longer, maybe, giving all blended family members time to accept new members. Turmoil exists in the mind of children more so if this communication is not made.

A child might blame itself for the breakup. They often think that the parent left them because the child was bad. This is rarely the case. The child needs adults to talk them through this wrong belief. Understanding and good communication will be your key to building stronger relationships in these hard times.

Many times, in family counseling, children express the hurt they experience because they drove that missing parent off by their bad behavior. Rarely is the separating issue based on their behavior.

Children left out of the communication and healing experience can become scared, suspicious, jealous, angry and unsettled by the change in their home.

Blending a family takes time. These ideas will help in building a happy blended family. Adults should concentrate on the case wherein each member can find happiness and invest time to make every member feel comfortable with the new relationship before remarrying occurs.