How to deal with an ornery grandparent
Grandparents are great right? They're the ones you go to when mom and dad say no. They are the ones that are supposed to give all the extra hugs and kisses. And they are the ones who are always supposed to be happy and pleasant. Well, for some it might be so, but for others learning how to deal with an ornery grandparent is part of everyday life. There are a few things to consider and look at when understanding an ornery grandparent. Let's take a look at a few things.
The dictionary defines ornery as a few different things:
1. ugly and unpleasant in disposition or temper
2. stubborn
3. mean-spirited, disagreeable, and contrary in disposition; cantankerous
Ornery grandparents can exhibit many, if not all of these qualities and can make you want to sometimes (shall we say) disown them for a time. It is difficult when you are caring for a grandparent to willfully take care of their needs when they are unpleasant, disagreeable, and "cantankerous."
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What's behind the behavior?
The first step in learning how to deal with an ornery grandparents it to find out a little more about them. How were they raised? What were they like? What were their parents like? This may take some digging, but you might find some answers to their stubborn behavior. People behave certain ways for certain reasons right? So find out why. Were they treated cruelly during a time in their life? Are they lonely? Are they suffering from an illness? Are they getting enough rest?
1. Were they treated cruelly? Most elderly people if given the time love to sit and talk with someone; sometimes anyone who will listen. Take some time to ask them about what it was like when they were growing up? Ask about family members, friends, traditions, etc. There might have been something in their life that happened to them physically, which might be why they are so disagreeable. Maybe it has something to do with the relationship with a father or mother, or sibling. You'd be surprised at what you find out if you just ask. If there has been an incident that needs further help, then offer to take them to a professional. You might even offer to go with them and support them. Maybe they just want someone to talk to about it so be open for discussion with them if they need it.
2. Are they lonely? Many elderly people are ornery and disagreeable because they feel like they have been abandoned and nobody wants to spend time with them anymore. We have all felt like that I'm sure, but imagine feeling like that all the time. You might be somewhat mean-spirited and unpleasant if no one wanted to spend time with you. Relationships are just as important to elderly people as they are to young people. If it seems that this might be the case, then schedule some extra time out of your schedule to spend with them. Take them places they enjoy, eat dinner with them, and play games with them. Learn to love spending time with them. This is your grandma or grandpa we're talking about. Nobody should have to make you want to spend time with them. You should do it because they're family.
3. Are they getting enough rest? There's really no way to know this unless you come right out and ask them. If they're not getting the rest they should be getting then it's no wonder why they are a little grumpy. We all get grouchy when we don't get enough sleep. Brainstorm some ways to help them relax. Maybe it's their bed or they need a change of color in their bedroom. Maybe some relaxing music would help. Sometimes taking care of a grandparent can be much like taking care of your own children; try some different things out and don't complain about it. After all, they've put in their own time to helping raise you.
Learning and understanding how to deal with an ornery grandparent can be time consuming, and wearisome, but put yourself in their shoes for a moment and try to be a little more considerate about their feelings. Try to find out what's behind the behavior, instead of just wishing it wasn't there.
