How to deal with finding out your child or relative is gay
For some people, finding out that a child or relative is gay can be incredibly difficult, especially if you don't agree with this lifestyle. If you don't agree with this, here are some tips for how to handle this situation in a way that will not destroy your relationship with your family member:
One thing that can be incredibly helpful when trying to deal with this is to find a third party to talk with about this. Attending counseling with this relative can be incredibly helpful. Either try to find a family counselor, or a counselor or leader from your mutual religion. There are also some councilors who specialize in guiding families through these kinds of situations. Having someone who you trust and who doesn't have heated personal feelings about the topic can really help you to discuss things in a more productive way. A third party is great because they are detached from the situation, and can therefore rationally help you to sort out your feelings and discuss them openly.
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Another thing that will help you is to remember that you love this person. Even though you may not agree with their decision, that doesn't change the fact that you love them. If the person who has told you this is your child, don't forget that you have an incredible and unbreakable bond with them. A parent and child relationship is an amazing thing. You've done the best you could to raise your child the way that you believed was right, and if it doesn't end up the way you anticipated, this isn't the end of the world. Don't let the relationship sour just because you have opposite viewpoints. Remember this and be kind to your family member. Don't name call or say hateful things that you'll regret. Even if you don't agree, there will most likely come a time where you'll be able to let go of your feelings a little bit and realize that this person is enough of an adult to make their own choices. Don't forget that although this may be hard, it will be okay. You will heal, and that person telling you this, is that same person that you love. Remember all the wonderful experiences you've had with them, and do not throw this away because you don't agree with what's happening in their life.
Finally, remember not to hide your feelings. If you're having a hard time handling this, be as respectful and as loving as you can, but don't hide your feelings. It is a bad idea to hide what you feel and say that everything is fine with you. It can completely destroy your relationship with your family member down the road if you refuse to say what you are feeling. You will unintentionally let these feelings destroy the way you feel about this person, and the worst part is that they won't even know what's happening inside of you. It's not fair to them to hide how you're feeling. Just as they have told you how they feel by telling you that they are gay, you need to tell them you feel. The situation will never come to any sort of peace if you don't have open and honest communication. As long as you are not hateful, they will probably respect your opinion on the matter, as they respect yours.
Remember, above all, that everything will be okay. This may be really hard for you right now, but over time, you will heal, and things will be alright.
