How to deal with religious differences in marriage
Many couples, soon after getting married, find that compromise is a key to keeping harmony and happiness in the home. However, for some couples, certain issues are more difficult to compromise with than others.
One area that couples may find troublesome after marriage is religious differences. Interfaith marriages, which occur when two people from differing religious backgrounds marry, are becoming more and more common. While this is something many people discuss before marriage, often a couple believes that their love will withstand any trial. But when real life sets in and families must decide what religion to raise their children in or what holidays to celebrate or not celebrate, religious differences in marriage can be a big problem.
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If you are in a marriage with two different religions, the following tips can help you deal with religious differences in your marriage:
Commit to respecting each other's beliefs.
Respecting each other's religious beliefs and differences is crucial when it comes to dealing with religious differences in marriage. Remember that to your spouse, his or her religion is an important part of your spouse's life, not just something he or she participates in once a week or once a month. Make a pact to each other to never belittle your partner's beliefs or religion, and stick to that pact.
Find a middle ground.
You can help deal with your religious differences by finding a common ground in each other's religions. For example, if both religions celebrate Christmas, then focus on putting a spiritual slant on Christmas. Focus on the beliefs that you both share about God, or look at teachings in your religions that are in common. Compromise will also be crucial, such as alternating which church you go to or where you will take the kids.
Attempt to educate yourself.
Even if you are a different religion from your spouse, you should make an attempt at trying to understand their beliefs. This is important not only so you can be supportive and understanding, but learning about your spouse's beliefs can also give you insight into your spouse as a person and help you learn more about him or her. Ask your spouse questions about their religion, and don't start arguments or scoff at his or her beliefs.
Decide how you want to handle religion and your children.
Couples should decide, ideally before they have children, which religion, if any, their children will be raised in. This is where you will need to compromise the most. Ask yourselves how involved you want your children to be in religion, if at all. Each couple takes a different approach to this - some teach their children the very basics about God and the Bible or take a nondenominational approach, some alternate which church they take their children to, and some forgo religion for their kids altogether, letting them decide when they are old enough to.
Focus on nonreligious things.
If you find religion is beginning to be a sore spot in your marriage, focus on nonreligious things you both enjoy, such as hobbies, sports, or movies. Doing things that you both enjoy together that have nothing to do with religion will help you to increase your unity in your marriage without fighting over religion all the time.
Religious differences in marriage have the potential to cause problems in even the most stable relationships, but with compromise and understanding, you can make them work.
