First off, there are no two children quite alike and the "right" friends for your specific child are obviously going to have to take into account some unique things that we have no way of exploring here. The point of a small essay such as this is is to be as general as possible, to cast a wide net. What does it mean, then, in general for a child to have the right friends?

It may be helpful here to highlight rightness by contrasting it with wrongness. What are some of the more obviously wrong qualities in childhood friendships. Now, this is a complicated question! Let's look at it this way. Let's say your child has a friend in the neighborhood who's a little bossy, a little bullying. They tend to have the last word when it comes to playing in the sandbox versus a walk to the park. This person isn't obviously ideal in some ways, but it's not written in stone that they're the wrong friend for your child. After all, we learned some pretty important lessons from having bossy friends, crybaby friends, selfish friends, and so forth. We learned that no one's perfect; we learned how to tolerate weaknesses in others; etc. So, ensuring that your child has the right friends does not mean ensuring that your child has perfect friends.

Sooner or later, when discussing a question such as "How to ensure your child has the right friends," we have to come straight to the obvious. Let's do so now. As mentioned in the first paragraph, it's a dangerous world. There are dangers every corner a child turns these days. Pornography, drugs, violence, sex-children are being exposed to such things at younger and younger ages, with greater and greater frequency. Speaking really, really generally, the "right" friend for your child is the friend who doesn't introduce your child to such things; doesn't tempt your child into trying things dangerous to their body and soul; etc. That's where every good parent has to start off these days; that's the jumping-off point in all discussions of this nature.

So, then, how does a parent keep their child away from "friends" who would exert such obviously harmful influences? Encouraging your child to smoke isn't the same thing as insisting that hopscotch come before watching an episode of SpongeBob, after all. The key to ensuring that your child has the right friends is being the right sort of friend to your child. Let's repeat! The key to ensuring your child has the right friends is being the right sort of friend to your child. If you want to know about your child's friends, you've got to be their friend first. AND you've got to be friends with their friends. In other words, as the parent you've got two roles to play. You're the protector, the lawgiver, the provider; but you're also the listening ear, the shoulder to cry on, the ideal advisor. Developing these latter qualities will take you a long way toward ensuring that your child has the right friends.