How to form a relationship with a step parent
All relationships require work and commitment. This is never truer than when considering the relationship between a step parent and child. With over 50% of marriages failing in the United States the blended family has become a modern day reality. The "blending" of a new family can be difficult and time consuming but when approached with patience and tolerance can yield wonderful rewards for all involved. The good news is whether you are a child, teen or even an adult looking to form a relationship with a step parent it can be done successfully! Here are some tips on how to form a relationship with a step parent.
Remember it takes time to form a lasting relationship. Even if things have gone smoothly during the courtship and wedding of any two people this is no guarantee that an immediate bond will be formed between the step parent and step child. It is important that all parties involved understand that a deep and lasting relationship will take time and involve shared experiences and memories.
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Take the time to communicate what you need from this new person in your life. It is important that children especially be allowed to voice their concerns, fears and expectations for the new parent in their life. It is equally crucial that the adult not take anything that is said in a personal way no matter how negative it may seem. Understanding that the child (teen or adult) is learning to readjust parental roles is important is establishing a basis for this relationship. Having clear expectations on everyone's part will help aid in the development of a relationship between step parent and step child.
Step children should try and make every effort to get to know their new step parent on the basis of who they are as a person. Older children and teenagers should be able to understand that their parent chose this person for a life partner because he or she makes them happy. Children should be reassured if they have a non-custodial parent no longer in the home that their new step parent is not a replacement for them.
Many times step children can establish a basis for a relationship with a step parent through something that is not within the walls of the home. Does your step parent like to fish, ride motorcycles or see old movies? You may be surprised to find that you share similar interests or hobbies that can be the basis of a friendship. Taking the time to get to know this new person in your life can also ease anxiety and concern about family dynamics.
If you are looking to establish a relationship with a step parent than honesty becomes of paramount importance. If step children are living in the home they must be willing to accept the authority of the step parent and resist the temptation to play their parent against their step parent. Parents should present a united front on matters of discipline and house rules in order to provide stability for any children living with them.
Be willing to do things together as a family. Part of establishing relationships is the effect of shared experiences and the memories they create. Make time to have dinner together, go to a movie or even go on a family vacation. While at first it may seem awkward traveling with your new family you may just end up with that great fishing story(about the one that got away) or that awful airport story(where you slept in the airport) and be able to laugh together for years to come.
