How to get out of an abusive "friendship"
An abusive relationship can be defined as any relationship where the balance and control are uneven. Abuse is shown physically, mentally and verbally. Abuse is more and more prevalent in relationships today, but that doesn't mean that it's right. Whether you are in an abusive relationship or friendship of any kind now is the time to get out. You may wonder how that is possible considering the circumstances, but here are some key steps on how to get out of an abusive friendship.
If you feel that you are being abused then it is very important that you get some help. No matter what an abusive person says they are not capable of changing without deep reflection and professional counseling. This is because they do not see their behavior as abnormal or incorrect.
The first step in getting out of an abusive friendship is to realize that you have the right to be treated with respect. Nobody deserves to be physically or emotionally harmed by another person. You are a special person who is deserving of kindness from others and a life of happiness.
The next step is ending it while you can. It will not get better, only worse. When you try to stand up for yourself and it so happens that the situation always gets worse, then it is time to get out. Friendship is based on respect, and if your friend doesn't give you that, then they have no place in your life. You more importantly won't earn their respect by sticking around.
Friendships should be based on trust and respect for one another. If you are being abused in your friendship then you do not need that person in your life. You will be much happier and you will feel much more at ease when you eliminate these individuals from your life.
If you are in a serious relationship that's abusive, there are some different steps to take to get out:
Make a safety plan
Making a plan entails collecting any important documents like: social security card, birth certificate, credit card, driver's license, etc., and keep them in a safe place. You will need these after you leave.
Contact places in the community for support
There are professional establishments that deal with abused victims. These are great places to help you with any counseling and support.
Assess your safety and that of your children
Make sure when you leave that you and your children will be safe. NEVER confront the abuser face to face.
Contact a shelter for a safe place to stay
There are shelters set up for victims of abuse. They designed to help those who need an escape. This is a safe place to go when you decide it's time to leave.
Seek a support system from family, friends, and advocates
It is very important to have a support system during this time. Pick those close to you who can be there to help you escape. If you decide to confront your abuser, make sure to do it over the phone with your support system with you. This way you are safe if they try to find you.
Are you in an abusive friendship? Here are some signs of abuse to look for:
Your abuser harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching.
They try to control your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say.
They always humiliate you or make you feel unworthy.
They threaten to harm you or hurt themselves, if you leave the relationship.
They twist the truth to make you feel that you are to blame for their actions.
They are very demanding and want to know where you are and where you are going at all times.
They are constantly jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends.
One of the most difficult side effects of an abusive friendship or relationship of any kind is the mental damage that is done to the victim. The victim believes they deserve this horrible kind of treatment. They blame themselves and continually try to change themselves thinking the cycle of abuse will stop. Of course this abusive behavior will continue happening. Nothing that you do is going to completely change a person until they see their faults in their behavior and get professional help.
The ultimate goal of any abuser is to make the victims think that they are worthless and powerless without them. This is because they love knowing they are in control of you. Abusers usually put restrictions on whom and when you can see others. Most victims lose their self identity all together before realizing there is something seriously wrong with the situation.
Getting out of an abusive friendship can be dramatic and uncomfortable. The benefits are countless. The emotional toll it will take in the beginning is far less than the permanent toll it can take if you continue letting your abuser control you. If you feel you are being abused, take a look at these steps of how to get out of an abusive friendship. Don't wait any longer; the best time to act is now.