Let's look at an example of how many women (or in some cases, men) get into abusive relationship. It began well. There is lots of love, flattery, dates, fun, and chemistry. After some months, abuse began. It was very small at first, a yell here, a put down there, a tight grab on the wrist. However, it was nothing huge, and it came at long intervals, leaving the person being abused wondering if they were just imagining it being worse than it is. The person being abused does not think it is something inherent in the nature of her partner, after all they are this amazing person you are in love with, have fun with, made memories with etc. After time it will stop. But, instead, with time it increased. But, with each episode came justification, and excuses for the action, "They had a bad day." "They were drunk." "They did not mean to." The list of justifications and excuses goes on. Now the person being abused is getting accustomed to abuse and many times does not realize that they are even being abused.

If someone does not recognize or realize they are being abused, how can they get out of it? Usually someone else points out the abuse, and offers to help them break away from the person. However, usually when this happens, the person being abused starts thinking about it, they begin feeling bad and ask themselves, "How could they go through this?" After all, they love this person, and are probably hating themselves for thinking about leaving. That or the person being abused is embarrassed that they let it happen, they do not know how to talk to others about it, and know they will want to know why they put up with it for so long. So, what can they do?

Well, first and foremost, in order to get out of an abusive relationship, the person being abused has to come to terms with the situation. They have to be unwilling to hide the abuse any longer, or ignore it. This is when they are finally ready to leave, and walk away, get out.

If you think you may be in an abusive situation, or know someone that is. You should to the following to help the person being abused get out of the relationship:

• Talk to the person.
• Get counseling about the relationship.
• Help facilitate an exit, whether financially, emotionally, etc. (In many cases the abuser is also the one with the money, all accounts etc. are in their name; so leaving is not always a financially viable option, after all, where would the person go? How could they eat? Etc. Also, many times if someone is in an abusive relationship the abuser will keep them from others, so they may not have anyone to turn to)

If you know someone living in an abusive relationship you may be asking yourself:

• Are they not realizing that the relationship is abusive?
• Do they get any positive result from that relationship?
• Do they fear hurting their partner by leaving?
• Why don't they retaliate or walk out?
• How do they come in this situation of getting abused?
• When it began, why did they not realize?

One can ask many questions about abusive relationships without getting an answer. So, instead, do something useful, get help. Ask someone for help. Talk to church, friends, family, even the police if necessary.