How to get over a fight with an opposite gender friend
While we all wish our friendships were completely without problems the reality is that conflicts and problems do come up. This can be even more complicated if the friend you are having a conflict with is the opposite gender from you. Men and women both perceive friendships and conflict resolution differently so this must be considered if you are trying to resolve a fight with a friend who is the opposite gender. Understanding, compassion and honest must all become a part of the conflict resolution. But do not despair if you want to repair your friendship there are ways to bring you and your friend back together again. Here are some tips on how to get over a fight with an opposite gender friend.
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- Make sure there really is a problem. This may seem too silly to contemplate but studies have shown that while women may feel that there is a conflict in a relationship (whether romantic or platonic) the male counterpart in the relationship does not perceive that there is a problem at all! Unless you are dealing with an obvious blow out fight do not assume that there is problem or conflict just because you may think so.
- Communicate honestly. This is an especially important step if you a female dealing with a male. Men tend to know less about emotional communication and subtlety. If there has been a fight approach the other party by communicating openly and honestly about the problem and your desire to resolve it. If the other party is still mad and not ready to discuss it, back off and approach the other party at a later date.
- Pick neutral turf to discuss your fight. Men and women deal with things dramatically different in their surroundings. Often it is best to choose a place that is neutral for both parties to discuss their grievance. This allows both parties to focus on the conflict resolution and not get caught up in other things going on around them. This will also limit distractions and allow the discussion to take place in a timely way which is crucial for resolvi
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- Deal only with the issues involved. This is not a time to bring up other grievances or past references to situations and problems. Deal only with the issues that have caused the rift between the two of you. If your friendship is worth salvaging then both parties must be honest and mature enough to confront and acknowledge the issues that lead to the fight in the first place.
- Be willing to compromise. It is important to know that women are more likely to compromise in a relationship than their male counterpart. In order for a healthy male/female friendship to flourish it is important that both parties be willing to compromise for the sake of the friendship. If one party or another is not willing to make concessions for the friendship the conflict may not be able to be resolved in a healthy manner.
- Let it go. Once a resolution to the fight has been reached it is important that both parties let it go. Studies have shown though that women with their more emotional natures are more likely to hang on to arguments and relive past problems. Men generally perceive friendships even with their female friends in much more pragmatic way and will generally let a past fight or problems recede. In addition many men report being frustrated by their female friends who will constantly bring up past problems or arguments after a resolution has been reached. For the sake of the friendship it is best to forgive and forget.
