How to get through a break up
No one likes to break up with someone they like. Even the person who instigates the breakup usually struggles with it some because they do not want to hurt someone, and because they will miss the person, but break ups still happen. Relationships are what connect us to each other, it does not matter what type of relationship it is, whether parental, sibling, friends, professional or love. So, when we break up it is like a disconnection and it can be hard. So, how do you get through a relationship break up? Try the following:
Recognize the risks. This is the first step to getting through a break up. You have to recognize that the higher the attraction, the higher the shock and pain that comes with a break up. This holds true for time too, the longer the time you are together, and the closer you get, the harder the break up usually is.
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Next, recognize that love has no rules. It is not like math, there are not equations and perfect outcomes that are predictable. Life and love have emotions and these emotions dictate a lot of how you are going to handle a break up. So, it kind of depends on your personality. So, to get through a bad break up you have to know what kind of personality type you are, and how that effects your ability to get over a relationship. For example, if you are the type to think you are made for someone, and you break up it will be a far more traumatic experience then if you are a pessimist that assumes it will end sooner or later.
Next you determine the amount of help you need to get through a break up. If you trusted someone to the utmost and extended your heart to them, and the break up was a total shock, the broken trust may be too difficult to get over on your own. You may need psychiatric help. If you were not as attached, or did not extend as much trust or feel as much betrayal, you may just need to have your buddies force you to go out, and have a good time with you.
The key to getting through a break up is giving yourself ample time to mourn, and then giving yourself ample time to move on. So, set aside a mourning period. During this time you get to feel bad for yourself, cry to your friends, stay in your pajamas all day, eat junk food, etc. But, once it is over, you have to focus on the future not the past. You have to start dating casually. You have to go to work. You have to take the ex's number out of your cell phone. You have to block their email address. If you are staying in close contact with your ex you do not give your heart or mind to heal. Instead you are secretly giving it hope each time, and false hope is dangerous and damaging, and causes you to live your life in an unhealthy way. So, change your ways, cut off contact at least for a while until you can handle seeing the person again without a surge of emotions and feelings. If you can do this you will get through your break up much better. Do not try and rebound, or jump into another relationship or anything like that, it is bad for you, and not going to benefit you at all, only make getting through your break up worse.
