1. Understand that there will be a grieving process. Your once calm and collected friend may completely fall apart after receiving the news that he or she has cancer. They may cry, rant, yell or become depressed. While it may be uncomfortable try and support your friend through their ups and downs as they process this news. The initial weeks after diagnosis will be filled with medical testing and each test may bring good or not so good news with the accompanying emotional reaction. Try to simply listen and resist the urge to offer advice. Allowing your friend to work through the first few weeks of emotional distress will actually help them become stronger in their fight against cancer.

2. If you want to be there for your friend try to leave verbal messages that will not add to their distress. Instead of saying, "Let me know what is happening" pick up the phone and call. This will give your friend the option of picking up the phone or not while relieving them of the burden of having to constantly retell all the details of their illness. Instead of saying, "Let me know what I can do" make concrete plans that you know you can keep. Offer to drive them to doctor's appointments or watch their kids. Your friend is in a vulnerable state so be sure not to offer anything you cannot follow through on since your lack of commitment will only add to their distress.

3. Offer hope, support and love but leave the gory medical stories at home. While you want to be able to tell your friend that everything can work out this is not the time to tell them about your Aunt Gladys who had to have a serious cancer operation and almost died. Your friend dealing with cancer will have his or her own set of fears(which include death) and will not want to hear stories of extreme suffering. In addition resist the urge to offer medical advice unless you are qualified to. Your friend will be seeking for any hope they can find and you would not want to be the one who mislead them with erroneous information.

4. Do not be afraid that you will not be able to do anything "big" enough. For your friend who is going through this medical crisis even the smallest acts will have deep meaning. Try to relieve their stress in whatever way you think may be possible. For women dealing with cancer especially those who have children to take care of this becomes a huge concern. Offers to do laundry, watch children, bring over food(or a gift card to a nearby restaurant) can be great but the small things mean a great deal as well. While you may not be able to be there everyday for your friend a note, flowers, a gift card or a call can mean the world.

5. Do not be afraid to talk to your friend about something else besides their cancer. Many cancer patients report that they feel that once they begin treatment the cancer takes over their life and their sense of self. Your friend may not want to discuss his or her medical problems all the time. Do not think that you are being rude to discuss other topics as your friend may be looking for an indication that you still see them as a "normal" person. Remember laughter, talking and friendship can go along way in the healing process and the fight against cancer.