How to help your teenage children quit fighting
Teens are moody and irritable and fight with each other like crazy. If you are a parent with more than one teen you are probably very aware of how they can be best friends one minute and at each other's throats the next. So how do you get your teenage children to quit fighting? Try some of the following suggestions:
1. Feed them right.
If they eat balanced foods their mood swings will not be as drastic because their blood sugar levels will be even. It sounds funny that their diet can affect how much they fight, but when we are tired, have no energy, or feel poor physically we are more likely to get irritated easily, lose our tempers, or just not think rationally. So, help your teen avoid this by setting a curfew and fueling their bodies with the kinds of foods that will lead to longer life and vitality. These would include fresh foods. Vegetables, fruits, etc. Avoid processed and refined foods, especially those high in sugar
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2. Have consequences when they fight.
Extra chores, not going out with friends. If they can't get along with each other they can't go out with friends. One of the fastest ways to get through to the majority of teens is to restrict a privilege. One of the worst privileges to lose is the ability to spend free time with friends. So, make sure your teens know that when they fight with one another, they lose their privilege to spend time with friends. For each fight they lose one day of friends. (Or whatever you think is best.) The fact is, if there are consequences attached to fighting your teens will think twice before arguing over something pointless. The consequences need to be tailored specifically for your teen. Saying they can not see friends may do little, maybe it is computer games or reading, or shopping, etc. that needs to be restricted.
3. Promote kindness and love in your home
Provid an environment that feels safe, where people can be themselves without feeling judged, and where children are taught to love and respect their differences. A lot of times fighting is a result of feelings of insecurity. It is a defensive mechanism teens employ when they feel threatened. So, help them to not fight by helping them to have a positive environment. Promote love. Promote acceptance. Promote feelings of self worth and adequacy. Promote peace.
4. Reward positive behavior with verbal praise.
Such as, "I was so impressed at your efforts to get along with your sister." Or rewards. Just make sure they know what it is for. Just like small children, praise can go a long way for promoting positive behavior, even in a teen. So, when you see something good, do not let it go unnoticed. A lot of times when teens fight it comes as a result of their frustrations. These can come because they feel like you only see what they do wrong, not what they do right. So, help them know you know they do things right too. Verbally acknowledge good behavior.
If you want to help your teenage children quit fighting, try employing the above four steps. They are very effective for getting positive results. Teens are not perfect, we all fight once in a while, but if you can do these things that once in a while will be few and far between.
