How to help your toddler become more independent, less clingy
When you have a toddler who is very clingy, it can be one of the most difficult things to handle. It's really hard to decide how to deal with this situation. You want to help your child become more independent, and have your freedom, while making sure that you're not hurting them emotionally. It can be really hard to balance these two things. The last thing you want to do is make your child feel that they are not loved while attempting to give them a sense of self-assurance. It's very important that your child be independent. If they don't know how to let you go, they will have a hard time doing this later in life as well, when it's important for them to do things on their own.
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- One of the best ways to help your child develop independence and become less clingy is to make sure that you start young. So many couples decide not to attempt leaving their children with a babysitter until after they are already one or two years old. It can be scary to leave your child with someone else, especially wen they are little. Although this is difficult, it's important to do so. Find someone that you really trust, either a close friend or family member, and take the night away. Not only will it be good to have some time to yourself, but it will help your child to develop independence of their own. If you start leaving your children with trusted people who love them when they are young, it is much more likely that they will never get into feeling clingy or emotional when you leave them.
- Another way to help reduce this clingy behavior is to make sure that you don't let your children sleep in your bed. A lot of kids develop separation issues when they never have to be separated from their parents. Having a room apart from their parents where they sleep on a regular basis is very important. It lets your child know that there are times when they can be independent, that you still love them, and that that is all right. If there's a particularly difficult night when your child needs you, having them sleep with you every once in a while can be okay, but absolutely don't make it a regular occurrence.
- Your child will never want to be apart with you if they don't learn that spending time with others can be enjoyable and fun. As a parent, having fun with your kids is wonderful. You are one of the most important people in your child's life, and that's great, but they need to know that they can have fun without you. If you're not ready to let go of your children in some circumstances and let them have fun with other people, they won't want to let go either. Try to set up special experiences for your children to have with other people. If they can learn that spending time with others is fun, than they will realize that it's okay to let go once in a while. Have one of their aunts or uncles take them to a movie, or simply do their favorite activity with them. Maybe even have this person try something new with them.
- Finally, make sure that you're not encouraging your child to be clingy. If your child is throwing themselves all over you when you need a moment, don't' give in. It's alright to tell your child kindly that you love them, but that you need to have a moment to get done whatever your task is, or simply to have a moment to yourself. Finish what you need to get done and then give your child some attention when you're done, and once they've stopped demanding it. Sometimes your child's need to be clingy becomes a behavioral issue and a power struggle. You need to be willing to recognize the signs of this, and set limitations. If you do so, your relationship with your child will be much better, and you'll be able to have a little peace and time to yourself.
