How to Lose a Friend in Ten Days
Ending a friendship can be one of the hardest things to do especially if one of the parties doesn't want it to happen. I think it is safe to say that everyone has had to do it whether it's because of a disagreement, or something else losing friends isn't easy. No matter what the cause is, it inevitably happens so here are some tips to help you figure out how to lose a friend in ten days.
Day One
After you have realized that you want the friendship to end, you just want to sit back and relax on day one. Go about your day as naturally as you can. If your friend calls and wants to hang out them by all means hang out. Let them do their thing; complain, whine, bully, whatever it is they do. After all you're going to end it right so you might as well let them get everything off their chest, and you as well.
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Day Two
Annoy annoy annoy! Do whatever you can think of to be the most irritating friend they have. Call them up several times with in the hour asking if they want to go do something. Think of things you'll know they hate and will most likely make up some dumb excuse not to do. If calling doesn't seem to be doing it, then ask to borrow several of their belongings by making multiple trips to their house or dorm room. Hopefully you'll ware them out just by calling on the phone or at the door and they will be thinking that maybe the friendship is too much for them.
Day Three
Throw a party and don't invite them. Spread the word all over by telling friends and family, and use flyers to post everywhere. Just don't make the mistake of inviting the friend you don't want. If they have half a clue, they will realize that they haven't been invited for a reason. Or if you want to take it a step further, tell them that the party is somewhere other than where it really is. Turn your phone off and wait until the morning to see if they get a clue. If they don't have half a clue, well then you'll have to move to day four.
Day Four
Ignore their emails. Usually someone who does not return emails does not want you to contact them at all at least that lies true with people who understand the rules of friendship. If they ask why you haven't responded to their email, then tell them you didn't get them. There must be something wrong with the server.
Day Five
Take them off of your "friends" list. Pretty much everyone has heard of my space or face book right? And we all have a "friends" list. When you remove someone from your list it's pretty much telling them that you don't want to associate with them anymore.
Day Six
Don't return any phone calls! Much like your email account, if you want to give a big hint then don't return their calls. If they ask why you haven't been returning the calls then tell them you have been way to busy to call, or you just didn't feel like talking. If you happen to answer the phone when they call, think of any excuse to get off the phone; dinner, boyfriend, TV. The more lame the excuse, the more apt they are to getting the point.
Day Seven
Start hanging out with someone else. maybe one of their roommates. They will definitely feel like they are being replaced so they will feel confused, hurt, and maybe not want to hang out anymore.
Day Eight.
Spread rumors about them. Nobody likes to have rumors spread about them, but it's a good way to get rid of someone. They don't have to be really mean rumors, just things that aren't true. Enough to get your point across.
Day Nine
Start dating his or her ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend. And don't do it discretely! Make it blatantly obvious that you are together all the time. Flaunt yourselves in front of them and make them outrageously jealous.
Day Ten
If none of this has worked then you might just have to come right out and say it. I don't want to be friends anymore! After all it works with toddlers.
