How to make a foster child comfortable
Foster children have rough lives, they do not have the stability of a home, their parents either can have them or don't want them, and they are pushed through the system. It is no wonder they are often resistant to love, and many go on to have problems later in their life as a result of abuse, pain, and identity issues that result from being a foster child. With this in mind, and the fact that this child has seen more of the harsh and cruel realities of life than any child should you should make a real effort to make them more comfortable. There are some things you can and should do to help foster children in your home feel more comfortable.
1. Give them items to call their own. Most foster children have few personal belongings. They are moved around, do not have a home, a bedroom, or many personal items. So, buy them things that are just for them. Give them clothes, toys just for them, a room, or at least a space they do not have to share. Having things to call their own will give them a feeling of belonging. If they are too big for toys, etc. then get them a movie, a CD, or if you have a little more room in your budget, go for an ipod, etc. This is not buying their love, this is helping them get comfortable.
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2. Include them in activities. To make them more comfortable, you need to make time for them. Plan activities that involve all the family, the foster children, the neighbors, etc. If you help them fit in at the home, as well as the neighborhood, they will adjust faster, and feel more comfy. This is important, you will have less rebellion, and acting out if they feel apart and included.
3. Talk to them like they are normal. A lot of people treat foster children like they have a disease, or less than human. This is not the case. If you want them to feel comfortable, you will want them to feel respected and important. So, include them in conversations, ask their opinions, etc. It may be uncomfortable for them at first because no one has ever done that for them before, but after a while, it will help them feel much more comfortable.
4. Give them responsibilities. Part of making someone comfortable is giving them a role and a part to play. When you have a role to fill, you feel like you fit in. Fitting in makes you feel comfortable. So, to make your foster child feel comfortable give them chores and responsibilities that they have to do on a weekly and daily basis.
Making your foster children comfortable is a big part of helping them to a better life. So, use the above suggestions, and make sure that when you take a child into your home, that their comfort is the most important thing to you. When they know that you want them to be happy and comfortable, and they feel a real concern and love for them, even though they are not a part of your family, they will react positively. So, make sure anyone invited into your home feels like they belong there, that they have a place there and a position to fill. Yes, you may feel a void when they leave your family, but at least you helped improve their quality of life for the time that they were with you, and encouraged them to be the best person they could be.
