• Treat your estranged family member as you want to be treated. Return harsh words with love. Make sure that all members of the family are working together to pour out an abundance of love.
• Good solutions begin with healthy conversations, not with arguing.
• Family members need to reach a fair agreement sharing responsibility. Siblings often find it easier to work together to resolve issues that may be present with a parent.
• Many difficult changes occur in family relationships as certain members of the family age. An adult child may view a parent as wise and capable until that child is called on to take on responsibilities of the parent, in which case feelings of resentment or betrayal could arise.
• Family dynamics will change. Sometimes traumatic changes (such as divorce, death, etc.) can lead to extreme reactions and rebellion.
• Be sensitive to the feelings of your family member. There is most likely a compelling reason for them to be estranged from the family. Seek to understand their point of view. Be opened to talking about their opinion.

Mediation is a way to find the best possible solution for different parties involved in some kind of conflict. In mediation, all family members must agree to take part in the process. Sometimes people outside of the immediate family are asked to participate (this could include a religious leader, a girl/boy friend or a spouse). Mediation is time-limited and goal-focused. The mediation process itself is intended to be a safe environment where respectful and civilized conversations can take place. In this atmosphere, differences can be discussed, information can be gathered, and agreements can be reached. The mediator is responsible for controlling any disturbances in the neutral setting and for assisting in coming to mutually beneficial solutions.

How can a family mediator help a family reconcile with an estranged family member?

A family mediator is a neutral third party. The mediator helps clear up misunderstandings, provides for the expression of true feelings, and keeps the family on track. A mediator is also responsible for helping family members who have been hurt emotionally or physically. The mediator is also responsible for working with the "offending" party to help them to avoid the blame and self-pity that may be forming the stumbling block to healing and reconciling. A family mediator may be a scribe and a witness if it is decided that a written agreement is appropriate. A mediator will encourage decisions that are in everyone's best interest. Lastly a mediator will help the family members consider as many options as possible while leaving the decision making to the family.

There are many advantages to making the effort to reconcile with an estranged family member. Of course it is better for members of a family to get along in harmony. Through resolving conflicts with an estranged family member all parties can seek to work on faults and shortcomings. The family relationship can actually be strengthened through working with an estranged family member with respect and an open mind. Mediation is a great option because it allows you to obtain mutually beneficial council from a neutral party. Hopefully you will be able to learn how to better communicate and compromise through this worthwhile process of making up with an estranged family member.