For many people that's a horrible word, "realistic." And so they put on plastic helmets and go to the park and pretend to be warriors. But "realistic" is actually a very good word, a limiting word, in the good sense of limits. Some limits are good-like when you're driving up a winding snowy mountain pass, and there are cement walls on either side of the road to keep you from slipping into a black abyss. In that case, you're being limited from a horrible death. When it comes to meeting new people and forming friendships, a realistic, or limited, perspective, can save you from a horrible social death.

There are lots of good ways to meet new people. What are your interests? You'd be surprised to learn how many clubs there are in a given area devoted to a given interest. Let's say that your interest is-lizards. Get online, access your favorite search engine, type in your address, and look for lizard clubs. You're most likely to find a few; and what better way to meet new people and form friendships than in a small, intimate group of fellow lizard lovers?-You get the point. Meeting new people and forming friendships takes effort. It takes work to meet new people and form friendships. But boy is it worth it!

When we were discussing reality before, we did so with the intention of conveying the importance of not basing your hopes regarding meeting new people and forming friendships on the movies, TV, etc. The important thing about meeting new people and forming friendships is to just be you. Don't try to be anyone else; don't try to imitate this or that charming actor you've seen. And don't hope to meet the charming people you've seen on your favorite television show! In fact, the best way of being realistic is just to not have any expectations at all, in a sense. Not high, not low, not any-your goal is simply to meet new people and form friendships.

You can meet new people and form friendships at work; in a church setting; at the gym; local clubs and groups; online discussion forums; etc. You might want to sit down and make a list of contexts in which you could possibly meet new people and form friendships. Then, try them out, one by one. Learn from your successes and failures. It's important to remember that it's a fairly frightening thing to go out into new social contexts and try to meet people and form friendships. You're not going to be an expert at it first thing, in other words. There might be some mistakes, some embarrassments; you might not feel that you're "fitting in" ideally right from the get-go. Take comfort, though, in the fact that quite literally no one does-not even the Prince of Wales.

Meeting new people and forming friendships is a matter of work, luck, practice, dedication, and fate. Some things you can control; some things you can't. The major key to meeting new people and forming friendships is to work on and worry about those things you can control, and leave to fate, chance, and luck those things you can't.