How to tell a friend they need help (emotionally, socially, appearance wise, etc.)
Friendship can create a very tight bond between two people or between groups of people. As a friendship grows over time, the events and experiences people share link them. Over time each member of a friendship will have the opportunity to be there for their friend. At some point, each member will also depend on their friends to come through for them. Sometimes these situations are obvious or seemingly superficial. Other times people may need to discern the needs of their friends and figure out how to help them.
Caring for Friends
The number one thing that friends can do for a friend that may be struggling is care about them. However, friends will need to find a way to show the struggling person that they truly care before they will be in a position to offer help. First, they must ensure that their motive for helping a friend is genuine and unselfish. If a struggling friend can sense that their happiness or health is not the most important thing to a friend that is trying to help, then the friend may be more likely to continue in what could be a dangerous pattern.
Once a person has their friend's best interest at heart, they will be in a better position to help. Friends may need help in many different ways. What if a friend is emotionally distraught, socially inept, or stylistically impaired? Here are a few tips for how to handle each situation.
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Emotional Problems
No matter how close friends may be, an emotionally distraught friend may not share their issue with their closest friends. This may be because they are ashamed, or it may be because they have not figured out what is wrong. Friends that wish to help must act sensitively so that they do not push their friend away.
Friends should find a pamphlet for a reputable counselor before confronting their friend. Then, they should create an atmosphere for sharing and honestly express some of the issues they have noticed with their friend. Pretending to understand their struggling friend could be a mistake, but honestly offering their support and suggesting solutions (like a counselor) can be just what a struggling friend needs to open up.
Social Problems
People who have socially awkward friends could serve to drastically improve their friends' lives. However, bluntly telling a friend they are socially strange could cause unhealthy confrontation. People who would like to help should wait for the right moment to offer their advice or express their concern. One moment might be after their friend expresses frustration with their social life. Phrases like "Why am I always being dumped?" or "I think my coworkers have been making fun of me" are a great opportunity for a friend to jump in and offer advice.
Appearance Problems
Some people simply have no skill when it comes to creating the appearance that best fits them. Whether a person is not dressing professionally for work or not dressing classy enough to attract the right friends, a friend can help. People who wish to help friends with their appearance must first be honest and tactful. Telling a friend they dress like a slob will probably not go over well. But offering to take a friend shopping or buying a friend a new outfit that better fits their personality or goals could be subtle way of letting them know they need help. If subtle hints don't work, take the friend out to dinner and kindly explain the problem.
