I don't bite, trust me!
Have you ever been to the zoo, and seen a sign on an animal cage that said something like, "Careful, This animal bites!"? Well, wouldn't it be nice if people came with such warnings? With people, as you interact, you do not get the warnings in the form of a written sign to tell you weather or not you can trust the person, or not trust them as the case may be. Sometimes we think we know, and we extend that hand out only to have our fingers bitten off.
The following is a look at how you can be someone who others can trust, and how to find others to trust as well.
First, actions speak louder than words. It may be cliché, but when it comes to trust, it is a true one. If you stick your finger in the cage, metaphorically of course, and you do not get bitten, you can trust this better than you can a sign that says, "I don't bite." Having someone tell you that you can trust them is completely different from them showing you through their actions that you can trust them. So, judge by actions. If you can't count on them to follow through with plans to meet up, or to call you when they say they will, how can you trust them with your secrets, or more importantly your heart? Make sure your actions are such that display that you are not going to bite. You want people to be able to reflect on their interactions with you and be able to say that you never gave them cause to distrust anything you said or did.
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Second, trial and error. Often the only way to know if you can trust someone is to test it. How do the zoo keepers know that the animals bite? They have probably had the animal attempt to bite them, or even succeed in doing so.
So, while you do not want to necessarily tempt someone into being untrustworthy, you often have to give them a chance to either be someone worthy of trust, or not. This means you have to put yourself out there and extend a trust. Then you have to wait and see. If you are worried, you can extend a smaller trust, one that will not devastate you if broken, and then judge from there. This is akin to putting your hand on the cage, but not necessarily in it, and seeing how the animal responds. When people give you a shot in the dark trust, you need to show them that they are not risking themselves in vain, but that you will fulfill that trust. This can mean taking care of something that you borrow, or doing what you say you will, when you say you will, no matter what gets in the way.
Third, give and you will receive. When it comes to trust, there is one thing that helps no matter what the situation, and that is to be trustworthy and extend trust to others. If you share, it inspires them to share. If you keep their trusts, they are more likely to keep yours. If a zoo keeper shows an animal that they won't hurt them, and spends time with the animal, giving the animal plenty of chances to bite, and giving them plenty of chances to hurt the animal in return, and they don't, the animal will begin to trust the keeper, and the keeper trust the animal in return. It works much the same way with people. If you give, you will usually receive.
