I'd rather not get an STD
Question: I have been dating this girl for about 6 months, I love her, and we have recently decided that we should become intimate. However, before we did, she told me that she has had several STDs and some of them may still be contagious. I don't want to judge her, but I have always been careful about who I sleep with, and it bothers me that she has not been. I am not sure if this is something I can get past. I would rather not get an STD. Am I being too shallow?
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Answer: Being concerned for your health is not shallow. Trying to make you feel bad because you do not want a crappy disease is. So, whether you love her or not, if she has been sleeping around, you never know what kind of crap she could pass to you. So, what should you do? Well, hopefully she loves you in return, and doesn't want to infect you.
Get her in to the doctor to be tested for STDs so you know what she has. Do not sleep with her before this. Once the doctor comes back with results, see if she needs treatment, or if there is anything you can do to make sure she is no longer contagious.
Additionally, you should always make sure that she is no longer sleeping around. If your girlfriend gets tested and treatment, and is loyal, then you probably won't have any further problems. But if she isn't, you could still get an STD from her. So, a better option is to wait until you are married to be intimate. A marriage commitment is far more certain to inspire loyalty then dating someone.
In addition to avoiding the STD, and your concern about that, you should take the time to evaluate how you feel about her previous sexual behavior. You do not have to pass judgment on her to determine that you are not interested in someone with that kind of past. It is a judgment on yourself, not her. So, if you can't get past it, determine why. Are you not getting past it because you are worried about an STD, or because the facts from her past have turned you off to her?
Love can be tricky, but you can also be tricked into it. Sure we all pretend to be a little different than we are when we first start dating. We hide our flaws, and try to present our best front. However, sometimes the person's best front is what we fall in love with, and when those ugly flaws rear their heads, the love starts to diminish some because they really aren't the same as what we fell in love with. So do not beat yourself up if you are not as interested in the girl you have been in love with and dating for six months. Hearts are sometimes fickle, and it is better to acknowledge that you can be fickle than to date, sleep with, or marry someone you no longer feel the same about.
