Why you should offer praise to your spouse:

1. Everyone likes to hear it. If you are normal, you know that when someone compliments you, offers you praise, tells you how good you look, how yummy the meal you cooked is, etc. it feels great. Having a spouse that feels good about themselves is a real asset to a marriage. People tend to have better marriages when the two people in them are happy. If your spouse feels valuable, they will be far less likely to feel the need to tear you down, criticize you, etc. This will lead to better feelings in your marriage, and inevitably fewer disagreements. Because it feels good to be praised, you should never limit the amount of praise you offer your spouse. Your spouse is someone you care about, and you should want them to feel good about themselves, and do everything in your power to make that happen.
2. Praise helps eliminate insecurities. One of the reasons many people have marital issues is because they feel insecure about their marriage, or some aspect of it. For example: If she never hears praise about her appearance, she might start to feel insecure, and wonder if her spouse is still attracted to her. If he starts to work late, the insecurity that he is not attracted to her may lead to her thinking he is having an affair. If he is not, and she accuses him of it, then there may be a big blow up, which results in lost trust on both sides, and loss of closeness. By praising your spouse regularly, you help them feel secure with you. You make them feel they hold value in your eyes, and they in turn act as a valuable asset to the marriage, rather than a liability.
3. It keeps you from feeling entitled, or taking your spouse for granted. Often in marriage we get so used to having our spouse around, and having them do things for us that we forget that this is not something we should expect, but something we should appreciate. For example, if your husband always does the laundry, you may take that for granted, and be upset at him when he does not do it, instead of praising him when he does. If your wife always gets up and gets the kids off to school, lunch in hand, do you remember to praise her efforts? Or do you think of it as her job? It is easy to take your spouse for granted, and offering praise for their efforts shows them that this is not the case in your marriage. It also helps motivate them to continue putting forth such efforts. If you were to spend the entire day cleaning the house, and your spouse did not notice it, or make mention of it, would you feel motivated to do it again? Not likely. Praising your spouse serves as a reminder to you that the things they are doing are not "required" and helps them feel appreciated, both of which will greatly benefit your marriage.

Some tips for offering your spouse praise without it seeming like empty flattery.

• Tip one: Do it often. Many people think that the more you praise someone, the more likely it is going to be to sound like empty flattery, however, this is simply not the case. If you rarely praise someone, and you start, they may wonder what you are getting at, what it is you want, or why you are mentioning it. In other words, they may question your intentions. However, if you consistently show your spouse how much they matter to you, and that you care about them, and praise them on a normal basis, then your praise will be considered more authentic, and less like means to an ends.
• Tip two: Be honest. If you want to have your praise sound real, and not come across as empty flattery, then it better be real. Do not praise a dinner you barely touched, instead praise them for being thoughtful enough to make dinner. If your spouse looks horrible, do not sit there and tell them how great they look. If you are dishonest in your praise, your spouse is going to know. It is a fact, people can feel when you are sincere, and when you are not. So, be sincere.
• Tip three: Praise little and big things. If you want your praise to be accepted, and real, you have to remember that there are many things that are praiseworthy, and you should not neglect them. A wife who spends her day making her house spotless is sure to appreciate praise for that task, but what about the fact that there are groceries in the fridge? You see, there are many areas of life that can be praised, and remembering to praise your spouse for some of the small, seemingly insignificant things they do, such as being thoughtful, squeezing the toothpaste from the end, not the middle of the tube, etc. are all going to help your praise appear more sincere.
• Tip four: Praise your spouse in private and public. If you want your spouse to feel like you really mean it when you offer them a compliment, or extend praise their way, you can't just do it when you are alone, or only in front of others. If you only praise them in private, they may feel like you are ashamed of them in public. If you only praise them in public, they may feel like they are more of a prop then a partner. So, be sure to have a good mix to ensure they know they matter to you no matter where you are or who you are with.

What is praise?

There are many ways to praise your spouse, and praise can be offered verbally, or non-verbally. For example, your wife could walk out of the bathroom, ready for the day and you could whistle your praise. Or you could tell her how nice she looks. Praise is your way of letting your spouse know you approve, and that you adore, appreciate, respect them, etc.

Things you can praise: appearance, efforts, their work, the way they interact with you or your children, their help, their thoughtfulness etc. It is very possible to spend your whole day offering praise to your spouse for one thing or another, but while this is not necessary, it is important to do some. In many relationships people find it is easy to criticize, and difficult to praise. If this is the case in your relationship, it is important that you start to focus on how to praise, and do so more often. As you turn your focus from the negative to the positive, your relationship will improve and grow. Do what you can to offer praise of at least one thing each day, even if you have to start small.

You will find that s you learn to praise your spouse more, they will return the favor, you will feel good, they will feel good, and your marriage will be far better and far happier.