Keeping mementos from past relationships once you are married
Often after a relationship you have things to remember it by. For example, you may have photographs of time spent together, or ticket stubs of trips, shows, etc. you might have enjoyed, or maybe a stuffed animal, article of clothing, or something of the similar. So, what do you do with them if you are now married to someone else? Do you get rid of them, or keep them?
Consider the following:
1. Toss them. You are married now, and you really do not need to keep mementos that remind you of people other than your spouse. Of course, if they are just fun reminders of your youth, or from experiences that you have had, then that is one thing. If you have any lingering feelings for the person you had the past relationship with, it might be best to just be rid of them. If you can't toss them, at least store them away, where you won't be looking at them, or focusing on them much.
2. Make sure your spouse knows you are keeping them, and why. If you are going to keep the mementos from past relationships, make sure that you spouse is aware of them. They may not be very thrilled to stumble upon them in a closet or garage. It might make them ask questions, or feel betrayed in a way. So, if you are going to hang on to some past relationship mementos, explain to your spouse that you are keeping them because they are the only photographs, etc. that you have from that time, or because you like the item, not necessarily the sentiment when it was given to you, etc. If they know, there will be no real surprise, or irritation if they run into them later.
3. Do not get lost in those memories. No matter if you tell your spouse about the mementos, if they find you getting lost in them, and reminiscing about them, or the person they remind you of, they are not going to be very happy. So, only keep the mementos if you can avoid the temptation to turn to them, or think of the "what could have been." If they get in the way of your marriage, then they are not something you should hang on to.
If you are going to keep those mementos, make sure you do so for the right reasons. If you are visiting them when you are feeling unhappy with your own marriage, it may lead to big marital problems. If your spouse finds them and does not know about them, they might read into it wrong. If you can't throw them away, evaluate your reasons, and be sure that you are not doing anything that makes you feel guilty, as that means there is a reason.