Learning the give and take in a marriage
So everyone tells you that marriage is wonderful and you'll love it, but no one ever tells you that you might actually have to work at being happy; actually put some effort into the relationship. There are many things that require learning the give and take in a marriage. In order to be happy both individuals need to understand that give and take, and adjust their lives accordingly. Statistics have shown that fifty percent of couples that get married end up getting divorced. A large portion of that percentage is due to individual selfishness and an unwillingness to compromise and learn how to give and take in the relationship accordingly. Here are some helpful tips on learning the give and take in marriage.
Communication
Probably one of the most important elements of a marriage relationship is how you communicate with each other. The way you communicate when you are married, is much different than how you communicate as a single individual. As a single individual you don't have to communicate with anyone about what to eat for dinner, or how you want to clean the bathroom. In marriage everything is communicated physically or verbally and everything you do becomes part of the other person. Both the husband and the wife need to understand how the other communicates. They need to know where the other stands on certain issues and be considerate of the other's feelings. Always keep the lines of communication open and be flexible when issues do arise. Remember that you both have come from different backgrounds and had different ways of doing things before you got married. You will now need to find some common ground.
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Keep your own identity
Some may say that when two people get married they should become one. While this may be true, it does not mean that you have to lose your own identity. You and your spouse bring many different strengths and weaknesses into the marriage. You both compliment each other with those similarities and differences. Just because you live together does not mean you have to give up everything you love. In fact you shouldn't have to give up anything you love. You and your spouse should try and be supportive of each other's hobbies and talents and work to improve them. Share your hobbies and talents with one another and you will find that you probably have much more in common than you think. Learn to give and take with new experiences. Try new things together and introduce each other to things you both love so you can grow together.
Focus on the Positive
Of course there will always be days when you might not want to hang out with your spouse all day long, and when you can't believe you married such a slob, but try to steer clear of too much negative talk. It can only lead you down an unhappy road. After all, you're not perfect either right? Did you ever think that there might be days where your spouse is thinking the exact same thing? Don't stress the small stuff like leaving the lid of the toothpaste, of not cleaning the dishes the way you like them clean, or not wanting to watch sports all the time. If you try to focus on the positive things you will find yourself much happier. And even better, if you find yourself being extremely nit picky about things, try changing the focus to yourself. Try changing something about yourself before you expect your spouse to change something in them.
Learning the give and take in a marriage can be tricky sometimes, but if you are patient with one another, stay positive and give each other the benefit of the doubt it will be much easier to understand one another. Remember that although in mathematics two halves make a whole; in a marriage two wholes make a whole. You both need to give one hundred percent.
