Learning to control your temper, how it benefits relationships
Controlling your temper is never an easy thing, especially when your buttons are being pushed. But learning to control your temper can truly benefit and strengthen all relationships. If you're the kind of person that has sudden outbursts, or rages and they are seriously affecting your relationships then it's time to make a change. Here are some steps to help you improve how you handle anger, and how it can benefit your relationships.
- Time out! Just like you put your own children in a time out when they are having a difficult time controlling their emotions, don't be afraid to put yourself in one also. If you find yourself getting upset and feeling as if you are about to explode, then try taking a "time out." Taking a time out can mean many different things, from counting to ten, to totally walking away from the situation until you are composed enough to come back. Not only will this help you control your temper, but it might also save you from offending someone and causing a huge fight. You're much more likely to save and keep relationships if you can figure out a way to give yourself a time out of the situation.
- Get Active! Physical activity can do wonders for the body, and for relationships. If you are someone who has a difficult time controlling your emotions (whether it is anger or something else) then try finding an outlet for your body; physical exertion to ware yourself out. You probably know what kinds of activities work best for you, so whatever it is go and do it. Take a walk, run, go to the gym and lift weights, and go play some good old fashion basketball. Physical activity helps keep your body balanced which can benefit any type of relationship.
- Sarcasm. Some people in their attempt to control their emotions tend to resort to using sarcasm. Stay away from it! All it does is demean you and others around you, which will in turn hurt the relationship. You can however use humor to try and lift the situation a little. Try to find something funny about the situation you can see escalating. Think of silly things, faces, songs, or whatever might help you fight off the anger rising in your blood. Most friends can appreciate a good joke, and someone who can make light of a situation.
- Use breathing techniques. There is a technique called "square breathing" which is an anger management technique done by counting to five while inhaling. Hold your breath for a count of five, and then exhaling slowly for another count of five. Continue this process until you feel yourself starting to calm down and you feel less angry. Then you will have a clearer mind about how you want to react (if at all) to the situation.
- Find a happy place. It sounds silly I know, but when I say to "find a happy place" I simply mean to find tings that help you relax. It may be a physical location, or a favorite room in the house, listening to a specific song, writing, or just a state of mind. Whatever you do to relax yourself, then use it daily to get yourself into that "happy place."
It doesn't matter what the situation is, learning to control your temper will help you build and strengthen any relationship you are in. If you need help with anger management try some of the tips above. If nothing seems to be working then try looking into some professional help.