First, ask yourself what you get from being with them. If it is more about the having someone than that particular someone, then you will answer with words like comfort, companionship, etc. If it is the person is what you like, your answer will be like, "She makes me laugh." Or "She is so great to talk to" or something else that is more personal in nature, then it is probably about her. Of course, this can't be the only thing to help you know, but it is a good starting place.

Next, consider how you would feel if someone else took their place. Sometimes having a relationship is just convenient because it means always having a person to call, to hang with, etc. But, would any person do? Or is this person filling that role because they offer something special? If you hang out with your friends, not your girlfriend, and have just as much fun, and not miss them at all, it might just be about having that status and companionship that tends to come with having a significant other. If you want to call them when something exciting happens, not just anyone, but them in particular, then it is probably because they are the one you are interested in.

The best way to separate your feelings is to give yourself a test, do the same activities with the person and with other people, and see if there is a difference in how you felt, how much fun you had, etc. If there is, then it is likely that you like her, not just having a girlfriend.

It is hard to know because there are so many good things about having a significant other. Having a significant other is nice for the following reasons:

• Comfort of having someone.


• Security of having someone.


• Someone to hang out with.


• A shoulder to cry on.

However, with the right person, those things take a back seat to simply wanting to be in their presence, spending time with them, and being able to have someone you relate to and love.
If you have to ask if it is the person or having a girlfriend that you like, then you have already pretty well answered your own question. Thus, it might be a good idea to fly solo for a while and learn to like that as well so that when you do date again, you can feel certain it is about wanting them. This will be a good thing for your relationship.