So, how can you decide if the relationship is one that you want to stick with if you feel love but not lust? You have to ask yourself what you want. What means the most to you? What can you happily live with for the rest of your life? Let's say you have a lot of fun with one another, and can sit, talk, and enjoy time spent together, but when it comes to sex, it is lacking. Either you lack drive, or you just don't ignite when you are around them. Often, it can be overwhelming because you may fantasize about other people, or get turned on by other things, just not your spouse.

What are your options when this happens? First, ask yourself what you want. Do you want to have ten years of mind-blowing sex with little else outside of the bedroom? Or would you prefer ten years of laughter and fun times but lack luster sex? This is not to say one is better or worse than another, it is to say that you have to decide what you prefer, what is going to make you happiest in the long run.

Love is the foundation of a good marriage, and there are things you can do to work on improving the lust side of your relationship. You may need to buy some creams, lotions, toys, swings, books, pillows, lubricants, etc. or you may just need to try a different environment, go to an exotic location, or take a weekend at a hotel known for sparking the romance. Therapy can also help. If you want the best of both worlds, you can make it happen. It may not be easy, and together you and your spouse may need to make a commitment to get your bodies in shape, and get your hearts together on that front. But, it is possible. You may not lay in bed doing it day in and day out, but you can ignite some passion, stoke the fires, and get to a better place than you are, you can have both love and lust.

Having love but not lust is not uncommon, but it is also not something you have to settle for. So, don't.