Making friends after you are married
Life is so exciting before you get married, you are making wedding plans, anticipating your new life together, and spending every moment together that you can. However, after marriage, some realities set in, one of which is who are you going to spend time with when you want to do stuff with other people? You have likely ignored many of your friends for the past few months. You and your spouse may not have the same ideas of who you want to have as friends, and who you want to spend time with. And, there is a strong likelihood that your unmarried friends will be less interested in hanging out with you as much simply because you are married. So, what can you do to make friends after you are married?
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- Go over and meet your neighbors. Believe it or not, your neighbors can be your best friends. You are more likely to spend extra time with them because they are close by. It is funny how a little distance can make a difference with how much time you spend with your buds. So, make some cookies, put some plastic wrap on them, with a big bow, and go over to chat your neighbors up. Invite them to come over some time, and have dinner, watch a show, etc. This is a great way to make friends after you are married. And, because they live in your neighborhood, there is a good chance they are in the same social, financial, etc. position in their life as you, and thus you will be able to connect faster, and enjoy spending time with one another.
- Go to church. Church or other activities can really make a difference when you are married and trying to make friends. Church is a good way to break down barriers and feel comfortable taking to people you do not know very well. You can start up a conversation and get to know people, then make a connection by inviting someone over for dinner, call them when you going out to see a movie, and invite them to come along.
- Meet your child's friends' parents. Your child probably spends significant time with their friends and at their friend's home. So, why not meet your child's friend's parents? You can click with them based solely on the fact that you have a common interest, your children! So, next time your child asks if their friend can come over, say, "Sure, and invite their parents too, we can make dinner, and get to know them a little better." Chances are, they might be looking for a few new friends as well.
- Coworkers. The people you work with have a common interest with you, in that you chose the same career. So, while in many cases it is inappropriate, there are exceptions to the rule, and becoming friends with a coworker can be a very positive thing. You may start your friendship at an office party, or the Christmas get together, and let it develop by inviting them along when you go out to dinner, or seeing a popular new movie together. Then go from there.
- Go to the gym, the park, etc. It is amazing how many people you can meet, and what friendships you can start just by frequenting a place others frequent. These types of friendships generally take longer to kick off the ground, but once they get going you may find you have a lot in common, and that you enjoy seeing each other not just in the social atmosphere, but also when you see one another in passing after your workout.
Making friends after you are married is not impossible, it just is a little tougher than before you were married because you have more personalities to try and match. However, don't be shy, get out there, spark up conversations, and make some friendships.
