Making your family members feel special
When you are in a family, whether big or small, it is easy to feel like you do not matter. Obviously as a family you want everyone to feel apart, however there are going to be times when life gets crazy, and because everyone else in the family has stuff going on, or requires attention, you get overlooked a little. No one likes this feeling, so while there is little you can do to ensure it does not happen to you, there is plenty you can do to make sure it does not happen to anyone else. Feeling under appreciated is a significant problem in families. Why? We get so comfortable with everyone, and their role in our life that we forget to notice how important they are.
So, stop doing this today. Making your family members feel special individually is something that you can do, no matter who you are, or where you fall in the family. So, what do you do to make everyone feel special?
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First, start by taking time just for one person each day. If you have a younger sibling, for example, in elementary school, and you are in high school, it is easy to ignore them and think of them as the obnoxious little kid. You probably do not care much about their friends and the silly stories they tell. However, you should care about them, and what is important to them. So, while it may not be important to you that their teacher just had a baby, if it is important to them, take the time to listen, ask questions, and show a sincere interest in them as a person. You will find that even a five minute conversation can brighten their day and make them feel as if they matter to the family. They will feel like someone does care about their life, and that they would be missed if they were to leave.
Everyone needs to feel loved, needed, and that they would be missed if they were away. So, make it your goal to help everyone feel that way.
Second, show your support for the activities they are involved in and their interests. If you played a sport, or an instrument, and you were competing or performing, who should be in the wings, in the stands, in the crowd watching? Your family. Even if it is an elementary school choir concert, if they took the time to prepare for it, and they need support, you should go. If you can't go, you can still show your support. You can send along a video camera to make sure it gets taped and you can see it. You can pack a bag of treats, or a Gatorade for them for their sporting event. You can wish them well, and express your regret for being unable to attend. In many cases the thought counts, and wanting to be there, and telling them you want to be there is going to help them feel good about who they are, and feel like they are a special part of your family.
Last, but certainly not least, if you want to help some one feel like a special and important family member you have to tell them they are. Even off-hand phrases like, "Oh you are so great, what would our family do without you?" can be very uplifting and help anyone feel like they are loved, they are appreciated, and that their family is glad that they are apart of it.
Even in jest, never say you wish someone was not part of your family. Never make someone feel worthless. Your goal, especially where your family is concerned, should be to make every person know that they play an integral part, and have a specific role in your family that no one else can replace no matter how hard they try.
