This situation has all the potential in the world for a relationship problem. First, the person working very hard, or maybe their Mother or Father or friend, is going to find it thoughtless of the spouse to spend their hard earned money on something expensive and frivolous. Instead of being angry they might simply advise their spouse to budget the money and just buy the affordable clothes. The spouse may in turn feel like their efforts to do something special, or give you the best are unappreciated. Neither is right, and neither is wrong. They simply have two different ways of looking at the same situation.

Miscommunication often comes when there is a conflict with beliefs, not always beliefs like religion or politics, but simply the core beliefs that drive us. No two people are exactly alike. In fact, we are totally unique mentally and emotionally, and the fact is unless we can help the other person in our relationship understand our way of looking at the world, miscommunications are bound to happen.

Let's look at another example of a core belief causing a miscommunication:

John grew up in a home where his mother stayed at home and made the home a comfortable and happy place to be. She did laundry, cooked, shopped, and spent time with the children. He had a very happy life. His father was the bread winner. Stacy grew up in a single parent home. Her mother had been divorced 3 times, and as far as Stacy could remember she had to be reliant on herself. The housework was shared amongst the family, everyone pitched in to make ends meet, get dinner on the table, etc. Stacy loved her family, and was very happy, even if life was hard at times. When John and Stacy got married, John wanted Stacy to stay at home, and eventually be there to take care of their children. Stacy on the other hand wanted to work outside the home and have some independence.

John felt like Stacy did not appreciate his attempt to be a good husband and provider for their family, and that she did not trust his ability to be the sole breadwinner. Stacy felt that John did not understand her need for independence, and that she found it degrading to be solely responsible for house duties. John felt if he provided income, Stacy could be in charge of the household duties like cooking and cleaning. Stacy felt they should split both responsibilities equally.

As you can see, this is a case when two different belief systems, neither better than the other, need to mesh, or there is going to be a lot of hurt, pain, and problems that are caused by a miscommunication.

There will be many times when your opinion will not correspond with that of another. So how can people prevent this kind of conflict from occurring?

Communication is the key. In John and Stacy's case, they both need to explain why they feel the way they do, in order to have some understanding from the other. John is not going to feel like Stacy doesn't trust him if he listens to her reasoning and gains perspective about her need to be able to take care of herself should something happen.

So, to overcome doubts and misunderstandings, you need to explain yourself, and not expect the other person to understand. Assuming they will be able to see why you feel how you do is what leads to miscommunication, so let them know what is on your mind.

One of the main reasons we do not speak of how we feel is because we fear what the other person will think of us for feeling that way. This is fear of rejection, we worry we will not be accepted or likeable if we tell them how we really feel. The fact is, unless we start being more clear, and in a tactful way, miscommunication, and the problems that follow are sure to happen.