Moms having fun with other moms
Sometimes when you become a mom you sort of lose your friends. Your friends that do not have kids sort of go to the sidelines because the things you do for fun change, you are not as available, and your priorities are different. This can be really hard for moms who have little social life outside of their kids. Most moms make friends through their children. You get kids together for a play date, and you become friends with their mom as a result. The problem with this is that your friendship is entirely based on your children as a commonality. So, what can you do to become friends with the moms of your child's friends? Try the following:
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- When you get together, discuss things besides your children. If you want to establish some sort of base for friendship besides your children, you have to talk about something besides kids. This can be religion, politics, fashion, popular culture, or whatever makes you happy. The point is that there is stuff out there besides kids, dirty diapers, and similar stories that can be used to create a friendship bond. So, find some of them to talk about.
- Try getting together outside of play dates for your kids. You can do things with the kids, but this means trying to do stuff when the kids are not the reason. Even if you just call them to grocery shop together, or to attend a PTA meeting together. The idea is to make a friendship out of it. You do not only call your friends when your child wants to see them, so don't do that with the moms of your child's friends either. Call them to head to the mall. Call them when you want to go out to dinner. Try getting together with your husbands as well, to create friendships there if possible.
- Treat them like a friend, not just the mom of your child's friend, and they will be. If you want to have fun with other moms you have to do the things you enjoy. If you enjoy chatting online, chat with them. If you enjoy shopping, shop with them. If you enjoy biking, laying out at the beach or pool, or whatever else you enjoy, invite them along.
Sometimes your friends are going to change because your priorities are going to change. So, instead of hanging on to the idea that you have other friends, and do not need to be friends with the moms of your kid's friends, embrace the friendships as they develop. It is going to amaze you to see that some people you never pictured yourself being friends with may end up being your best friends in the world. You may find that you enjoy talking about your children. You may find that the things you used to have in common with past friends is no longer in common, and so you have more fun with the moms of your kid's friend's then you do with your friends.
