Overcoming tension in relationships
A little tension in relationships every now and again is normal. However, it is how you handle that contention that makes the difference in a happy, well-adjusted relationship and one that is headed for trouble.
When tension is not dealt with and overcome, it erodes relationships, sometimes to the point of no return. Petty annoyances can turn in to major grievances, lack of communication can result in trust issues, and more. Eventually, if tension is not overcome, it seems like all you can do in your relationship is fight.
The following are some ways you can overcome tension in relationships.
Identify the underlying issue.
There is always something that is the root of the problem when it comes to tension in relationships. Perhaps your spouse is continually coming home later than promised. Or maybe she spends money that you can't afford to spend. Or maybe you are frustrated because you think he doesn't help enough around the house. Regardless of the issue, it's important to first identify it.
Perhaps the most important thing you can do when it comes to overcoming tension in relationships is to communicate. Communication is vital in solving any type of relationship problem, big or small.
If you know there is tension in your relationship, meet together and calmly discuss the issue that is causing the problems. Your partner may not even know he or she is doing anything to bother you-that is why communication is so important.
When communicating your issues, try and discuss one problem at a time. It's not a good idea to go at your partner with a whole list of things you don't like about him or her. That would make anyone defensive. Instead, focus on what is causing the tension in your relationship at that moment.
Work together to find a solution.
Once you have identified the source of tension, work to find a solution. The following are some common causes of tension in relationships and how you can fix them:
- Stuck in a rut. When the newness of a relationship wears off, you may find that you are stuck in a rut. This can come out in the form of picking fights over insignificant things. If you think this is the cause of your tension, then work to overcome the boredom by trying new things together, like a trip away from the weekend or an actual date together.
- Outside problems. If you are experiencing money problems, or fear that you might lose your job soon, this can spill into your relationship and cause tension. If these problems are the cause of tension in your relationship, work together to try and ease your worries, whether it's looking for a new job or redoing your budget to make your finances more manageable.
- Trust issues. If you or your loved one has done something that questions your partner's trust in you, you must work hard to rebuild that trust. This is one of the more serious causes of tension in a relationship and requires serious work and sometimes professional help in order to get past.