Relationships-What things should you keep from your spouse
The following are some things you should never keep from your spouse, and why:
SECRETS: A good, healthy marriage suggests that both partners, the husband and wife, will always be honest with one another. So, keeping a secret from your partner is not a good way for a newly married couple to start out their life together. Things which will have an effect on both partners, like: finances, change of residence, possible change of employment, major purchases, common religious beliefs etc. should probably be discussed fairly openly between partners. But there are certain things that one or the other can do that they don't necessarily need to share. For example, it probably isn't necessary to tell your partner that you bought a pack of gum when you stopped by the store on the way home from work. Nor is it necessary for a husband to tell his wife that he shined his shoes before he went to work in the morning. Your feelings about other people are something that you might want to keep secret, unless they are your feelings towards your mate. In a successful marriage relationship both partners should always be completely honest in their feelings towards one another. For example, if one partner begins to doubt in his love for the other, he/she should share that, as hard as it may be, even though it might hurt the other partner's feelings. Showing confidence in the partner and enlisting his/her help might be a way of working things out and eventually solving the problem.
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MONEY: One of the most difficult things in a marriage, at the start, is the handling of financial matters. Each partner has just come from unmarried state making their own decisions, especially decisions concerning what to buy, how to buy, how much to spend etc. So, when the money is in a `common pot' it's harder to keep that from the other person. It would be good for the two to share their ideas on family finances, and to set some rules (maybe flexible) at the beginning. This will give both a better idea on where, what and how much to spend. And if is going to be a purchase made alone, or whether they should buy something together.
CAR: At the beginning, some husbands feel like the most important things to keep from the wife are the keys to the ignition of the family car. Now if both spouses have cars, that probably isn't necessary. But some husbands will often remember or repeat horror stories they have heard about women drivers, and don't want to have their wives become part of that `elite class' of drivers. Some wives will have similar stories to tell about the men drivers they know. But if it is a family car, it's probably a good idea to have two sets of keys made so either partner can come and go without having to ask permission for the keys from the other person. That's not to say that they shouldn't still inform the other person as to where they plan on going. But it gives them more freedom to come and go as they would like to without feeling that the other person has a certain amount of control over them.
BATHROOM: If one or the other of the partners is used to having free access to the lavatory (bathroom) then there are only two options: 1. Learn to share one bathroom or 2. Buy or rent or build a home with two bathrooms. If one or the other of the partners is in an emergency, it is strongly suggested that the bathroom not be `kept' from him/her who is having the crisis.
COMPUTER: In today's world it's almost as important to have two computers as it might be for some couples (who haven't learned to share) to have two bathrooms in their home. 'Keeping' the computer from the other spouse could easily begin a feud that would be very difficult to stop. One of the first purchases a newly married couple might want to consider is that of a new laptop or desktop for the partner that doesn't have one.
There many other examples that could be given, but for the sake of time and space, this will do as a start.
