Why do people feel resentment? Often the key source of the trouble is why the resentment is felt in the first place. A spouse may resent another spouse because they feel they are under appreciated. A friend might resent another friend because they have less than them, a sibling might resent another because they are getting more attention from the parents, etc. Resentment doesn't just spring up, and while it may be difficult to pinpoint the reasons why you feel it, or others do, it is important to understand it, and try to determine the underlying reasons. You might resent a coworker because they got a position you wanted, even if they were more qualified. It often springs from jealousy, frustration that doesn't have a positive outlet, etc. Resentment will ruin relationships if not addressed, so first and foremost, try to pinpoint the reason behind it.

What can you do to avoid resentment? The majority of resentment occurs when someone is jealous, insecure, or feeling neglected or ignored. So, in order to avoid feeling resentment yourself, be sure to work on your own self esteem, and be sure to have open communication with those with whom you have relationships. That way you can address the problem of ingratitude, or being ignored, without allowing it to fester and form into resentment. Jealousy is a hard one to get a handle on, but a good way to start is to simply start a gratitude journal. Instead of focusing on what others have that you don't, turn the focus to what you have, and are grateful for. If you want to avoid the other person in your relationship feeling resentment toward you, you implement many of the same techniques. Have open communications so that you can solve problems before they get to that point. Show gratitude to others. If people feel appreciated, loved, and able to let you know when there is something wrong, resentment decreases.

How can you open the lines of communication in relationships? The best way is to start with yourself. Extend trust, learn to listen, never point fingers, pin point your communication road blocks, and work to alleviate them. Most resentment is caused by lack of clear communication. If you need to feel appreciated, say so, and clearly so that they know you expect verbal praise, etc. If you don't want to hear about how much they have because you think of what you don't have, help them understand that, etc.

If you can practice these things, you will be able to stem the tide of resentment, and be able to find ways to keep your relationship healthy. You will find that you communicate better, and because of that, you end up closer, and your relationship is much better.