Say what you mean for a better relationship
In relationships there are often problems, but the majority of these problems stem from miscommunications, and the miscommunications often stem from people saying things other than what they mean. Why we do it varies, but the fact is we do. Your husband might ask what you want for dinner, and you might say, "I don't care." But, you might care, in fact, there is a chance you might have a real preference, but rather than stating it, you don't.
Communication is hugely important to your relationships. Often, we misinterpret what's been said or done, just because we don't know how to communicate properly. Most of the time we make assumptions based on our perspectives and we do not realize that the people we make those assumptions about have totally different perspectives.
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For example, you may find it offensive that your spouse wants you to stay at home with the children instead of taking advantage of your talents and brains in the workplace. They may simply think that to be a good spouse they should act as provider and let you stay home and raise the children. This difference comes from different perspectives and ways of communicating, and if you do not explore this, it might lead to significant problems in your relationship.
How to communicate is something we learn early on in life. The lens we look through as we communicate is made up of our life experiences. So, if you never learn how to communicate properly or do not understand how your life influences your communication, it can lead to poor communication throughout the rest of our life. We fall into bad habits, such as avoiding difficult topics because of discomfort, or not speaking our mind because arguments make us anxious. All of these things can later compound for bigger problems.
So, the first thing you need to do to communicate better is say what you mean. If you want something say it. If something is bothering you, do not beat around the bush, come right out and say what it is that is bothering you. Learning how to say what you feel is important in maintaining good relationships, not just in your personal life but with the people you work with. If you felt you were unfairly passed over for a promotion, and voiced it to your boss only to find out that they did not think you were interested, you would kick yourself for not speaking up sooner. If you can't tell someone how you feel, how can you expect them to know? While we often have high expectations of the people we have relationships with, especially intimate relationships, it is critical to remember that none of us are mind readers. So, say what you mean, do not expect the other person to figure it out.
In addition to saying what you mean, you need to make sure the other individuals in the relationship are saying what they mean as well. This means that if you are not sure about something that you ask. If you think there is more to it, ask if there is. Be clear, and expect the same clarity in return. If you explain why it is important to you, and keep an open mind so that they do not have to worry about offending you with honesty, your relationships are sure to grow and improve. If you are not honest, or do not respect when others are honest with their thoughts and feelings to you, your relationships will fail.
