Seeing past your differences to what you have in common
When two individuals begin to interact in a relationship they will usually find that they have many things in common. However, as the relationship grows over time, people may discover that there are many things that they do not have in common. Even though they still have other things in common, for some reason people begin to focus on their differences until they forget why they became friends, started dating, or got married in the first place. Here are a few tips for seeing past differences to what people have in common.
Make a List
People who want to make their friendships or relationships work should sit down with all of the parties involved and make a list of everything they have in common. They should list activities, music, art, colors, vacation spots, etc. until they have a solid list of things that they share in common. Then, when they are together they should take time to do those things. This will ensure that everyone is having a good time. It will also start to bring the focus off of the differences that caused conflict and place it on the things that will bring people closer.
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Find New Hobbies
Sometimes when people make a list of the things they have in common with friends or partners they discover that their list is very short. That is ok. Life is not over. These relationships should find activities that neither person has ever done before. Discovering new hobbies and activities can be the ticket to having things in common with a friend or a significant other. Go sailing, rock climbing, hiking, take an art class, crochet, write a story together, see a concert of a new artist, go dancing, play a new sport, try video games, the sky is the limit when exploring new hobbies.
Give Each Other Space
Couples that spend a lot of time with each other may not have a problem with having nothing in common. Instead, the problem could be that they are spending too much time doing things they both like, and they miss the things they used to enjoy separately. This does not mean the couple or friends must part. People that find themselves in this situation should schedule time with their friend or partner to spend time apart doing other things. One person may enjoy a long run on their own, while the other may want to take in a certain genre of movie. This free time will not only let each person in a relationship continue to do things they love, but it will also make the time spent together doing activities even more enjoyable and valued.
Agree to Disagree
Sometimes differences have to do with a certain beliefs or value system. These differences can be more difficult to see past. While it can be tempting to try and convince the other party of their flaw, this will usually simply lead to even more focus on differences. People that encounter a difference of opinion or belief should try to be understanding of their friend or partner. By agreeing to disagree, people will be able to focus their attention on other parts of the relationships where their difference of opinion will not have an effect. A mutual respect will be created, and everyone will be able to enjoy each other's company.
Seeing past differences can be a complex undertaking. People should try their hardest to find ways to shift the focus of their relationships from the differences to the things they have in common.
