Sibling differences
Siblings often have differences, and you can let them improve your relationship, or you can let those differences create gaps, and ruin relationships. The following is a look at how you can overcome fights, quarrels, and differences, and instead of letting them tear your relationship apart, let them improve it. The following tips, if followed will help your siblings become more than just a brother or a sister, but be a friend.
First, remember this: Just because you were raised by the same people does not mean you have same values, or value the same things. Too often in relationships with siblings, we have an expectation of understanding because we were raised in the same home. This is simply not the case. Families often have children with different lifestyles, religions, education levels, etc. You may value family, and spending time with family, and so when your sibling chooses to go out with their friends, rather than meet you for lunch, you get offended.
However, if you can take a step back and recognize that your values may be different, you can see things from their perspective better. They may value their independence, and thus, having to rely on a sibling to be entertained can be daunting, and so, instead of cultivating their relationship with family, they do the opposite, and cultivate those with friends first so that they never have to rely just on family.
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Being able to see that choices made, actions taken, etc. are not always done in the same frame of perspective we have, can help us understand them better, and make those differences a chance to have a unique, fun relationship, instead of a frustrating one. Next time they do not call you back, or they say something rude, you can take a step back and see that they may not put as much importance on following through with what they say, or that maybe they did not mean what they said rudely.
For example, they might comment that you could use a makeover. That is not something that is nice. But to them, they may simply be saying that your potential is great, and they would love to help you reach it. Instead of an insult, they may have meant a compliment, but because you see things differently, it may not have appeared that way. Obviously this is not always the case, but recognizing our different values helps us understand each other better, and be less offended.
Second, remember that human error happens. It seems like with friends we allow for humanity. If our friend gets mad and goes off on us, we forgive them when they apologize because we understand that bad days happen. However, if a sibling did the same thing, we would not be nearly as forgiving. Why? Because for some reason, with friends we see the potential for humanness, or in other words, we recognize that they make mistakes, succumb to emotions, etc. but with family we have a higher standard, and expect perfection. When you expect perfection, and do not account for the humanness of one another, you can have nothing but frustration. So, see your siblings as imperfect humans, and your relationships will improve ten fold.
