If you find that you or your siblings are engaged in a rivalry in adulthood, consider trying to change the situation before it gets much worse. At the end of life when you think back about your family you will feel terrible regret about the fact that you didn't try to change things. You will feel shame because you allowed an old rivaly to get in the way of a lasting and meaningful relationship. Described bellow are some tips that should help you to overcome these rivalries in adulthood.

The first thing to do in order to overcome your sibling rivalry is to think about what has caused it. What happened in your childhood that created some feelings of animosity towards a particular sibling? Was it a competition for your parent's attention? Perhaps you competed for the same boyfriend or girlfriend or always compared yourself to your sibling. There are any number of reasons why you might have come to anger each other, but now the most important thing is to recognize it and overcome it.

Once you have identified the problem and the feelings that support it, discuss the problem with your sibling in a passive, kindly manner. Although this could be difficult, and your sibling might not be very welcoming at first, if you express love eventually you should be accepted. Make it clear that you understand your own fault in whatever has happened so that your sibling does not think that you are simply accusing them. Express a desire to be friends again and to spend time with each other. The only thing that will bring you together is sincerity and a willingness to get over any bad feelings you may have.

Do not expect the rivalry to subside too quickly. It takes time to heal old wounds, and it can be very difficult to overcome problems that have defined a relationship for years. The key is a patient, loving attitude. You also need to both come to the point where you realize that your differences or anger are not worth the while of your friendship. If the other sibling or yourself are not willing to make this change in attitude you will not be able to overcome the rivalry. It takes willingness on both sides of the table to forge a positive new relationship.

Another important thing you can do to overcome your sibling rivalry is to forge new, positive memories. Sometimes you cannot heal all of the wounds of the past but you can help to create a new sense of your relationship. Try doing some light hearted mutually enjoyable things with each other. You would be amazed at just how much can be healed by some fun. With a positive attitude and a light heart you should be able to transform a destructive rivalry into a loving friendship.