Simple things that can help you build and maintain friendships
If you are tired of sitting at home every weekend, it's time to bust out of your shell and make some friends. Building friendships will take some hard effort on your part, but it will be worth it in the long run. Here are some simple tips to follow if you want to build and maintain friendships:
- Have an attractive personality. You don't need to be the life of the party but people will not be drawn to you if you don't open up and talk to them. If you have a hard time conversing with others, make a list of ten things to talk about and then start asking questions about others when you are at work. Making small steps is a great way to start building your social network.
|
|
- Get rid of embarrassment and anything that is holding you back from making friends. Although you may not be the most interesting person, don't let your fear of embarrassment grab a hold of you and keep you from getting out there. If you have problems with anxiety, speak to your doctor about it, they can provide some helpful tools that can help you overcome anxiety.
- You need to have a personal desire to make friends. If you aren't willing to put forth the effort to find other people to connect with, they won't know you are out there. It's true that some of us just aren't as social as others, but being a recluse won't help you make friends.
- Be positive! While we all have our good days and bad days, people want to be around positive individuals. Don't go out to the club to meet people when you are in a bad mood, save that for your punching bag and treadmill.
- Don't judge others. When you are judging others, you will alienate yourself because you make up personal reasons why you can't be friends with this person. Perhaps they have weird hair, a loud laugh, or they are just annoying to you, be careful because they can be just as judgmental to you. Maybe you have bad breath or you tend to be clingy when you do make friends, just remember you will be judged if you judge others.
- Learn how to be socially acceptable. If you have recently gotten out of a long-term relationship, you may find yourself in a whole new world and you may lose some of your friends. Find ways to "fit in" again. Go to places where people your age tend to frequent. Try going to the bookstore instead of the clubs to make friends, it's much easier to connect with others in a place where you feel comfortable. Try online dating or use social networking sites to build new friendships.
- Get over your fear of eating alone, seeing movies, or shopping alone. You don't need to cut yourself off from the world because you are suddenly single again or because you have moved to a new city. Find some new hobbies to try out; you will probably meet some great people here. Do things that are out of your typical mold like rock climbing, playing softball, or joining a book club. Breaking out of your mold will introduce you to a whole new group of people that you can develop great friendships with.
- Invite an old friend to lunch or dinner. This is a fun way to catch-up with an old pal and they can introduce you to a new group of friends that they have acquired over the years. Don't be afraid to draw on your old friends for help in finding new friends, they know it's hard to make friends too!
- Finally, have patience. It's not easy to get out there and make friends. Building and maintaining friendships takes a lot of time and effort on your part but if you don't get out there, you won't be doing yourself any favors but losing out on some great friendships.
